Random Countryhumans Oneshots

America commits tax fraud

Requested by: 39based

(help wattpad hates me and doesn't wanna display the link of their user)

(a/n: I'm lazy to learn how tax works cuz I forgor and I didn't listen to the accounting teacher so this is not accurate)

America sat on the couch and melted because summer and also because climate change, as he sat on the couch and watched a random YouTube vid he heard a knock on the door, he stood up a bit too fast making his head hurt, damn crazy how the human body works.

As he went to the door while mentally screaming in pain he noticed that it's time to pay the taxes and the one who knocked is most likely the dude who collects taxes, shit.

He immediately hid away in his room, soon the knocks turn into banging, he held his mouth to quiet down his breathings and finally the door busts open, he flinches in his little hiding spot and sweats nervously

Turns out it's just Britain and not the tax collector and America was just being a pussy. He went out of the hiding spot as he realized it's just his father, he revealed himself to his father but then he realized; His father is a tax collector. Shit.

America then immediately pulled out a gun out of his gun pouch that magically appeared on his waist and pointed it towards his father "Don't. Move." America threatened "son, just pay me 2000$ and I'll leave, I know you have like 100K$ in that e-wallet of yours" Britain said calmly and America suddenly shoot his gun up and ran away "YOU'LL NEVER GET A SINGLE PENNY OFF OF ME!" He shouted and ran away to the backdoor but then he realized; he has no backdoor, he didn't plan this through (as if he even had a plan lmao) so he panicked and decided he should run to the front door, as he turn around to run to the front door and escape the fancy tax man, he was only met with Britain, the island collector. "Uhh hey dad..." He sweats nervously "Son... Just give me the bloody money and this will all be over" Britain approached him slowly and cautiously, he never had a great relationship with his eldest son.

America clutches on the gun tightly to the point his knuckles turns white. "Never!" America jumped out of the window breaking it in the process giving both him and his father to have some injuries from the broken glass, America ran away as if he is being chased by a serial killer but really, it's just him being a greedy ass bitch

As he ran and ran, he reached his old buddy's house, Mexico! He starts banging on the door loudly and Mexico opened the door clearly annoyed "what the he-" the Mexican got cutted off "I need your help!" America held both of Mexico's shoulders tightly, the only reason he still haven't passed out is because of adrenaline. They both entered the house

"Explain why you are here" Mexico said coldly, not excited to see his "friend" that built a fucking wall to avoid him, "I don't wanna pay my taxes..." America chuckles as if it isn't serious "bro, just pay ur taxes ur like ur one of the riches country on Earth??" Mexico is confused, he is rich as hell why can't he just pay his taxes? "Tax evasion is cool" America fixed his sunglasses "no it's not, listen, give me your money and I'm gonna pay the tax for you, easy right?" Mexico smiles awkwardly because what he said is dumb and really suspicious "what about you pay my taxes? Easy right?" America mocked him "do u actually believe I would trust you to give my money to you, taco?" America chuckles while Mexico feels the sudden urge to kick him out of his house "you know what? Get out." Mexico points to the door "wait I'm sorry" America apologized not wanting to get out "shut up" Mexico pushes him out of the house and its just America, Britain, and some randoms who are just minding their own business, well he's fucked

"America.. just please pay your taxes, I have been paying your taxes at the past but now is the time for change" Britain stood calmly "you know what? Fuck it" America shoots his gun towards his father

"Doctor is he gonna be okay?" America asked the doctor "Yes" the doctor replied calmly and left "sorry dad, I got a bit too far there heh..." America chuckles a bit "why in the bloody hell are you chuckling infront of your hospitalized father who you just shot" Britain glared at his son "because it's funny" America replied with a cheeky grin "wait who is gonna pay for the hospital bill?" Britain asked making America to run away again not wanting to pay the bill "I'm disappointed at my son" Britain facepalmed mentally wondering why he just wasted sperm, like out of all 1 billion+ sperms participating in the race, America HAD to won, why!?

Well this is a "nice" way to end the fic, sorry if you wanted more but then again, I has no ideas and doesn't know how tax works, man I should really listen to my teachers for once, also I'm not very proud of this one (as if I'm proud of anything I did at all)

IM SPEED (the one who requested it just requested that a while ago lmao)