It wasn't supposed to be like this. With my back pinned against the wall and my hands above my head, tears spilling from my eyes as he took me over the edge once again.
" You're a mystery, Sarah." I sob out, my breasts bouncing from each of his thr...
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I'm worried.
Mama looks in pain as she enters my room, but she still puts on a smile as she approaches me.
Mama says that she's just a bit sore from the household chores she helped the maids with, but a small part of me thinks mama is lying.
I quickly get up from bed, and run to mama as I hold her hand and drag her to my bed, telling her to lay down.
Mama slowly lays down on her stomach and she exhales deeply, the worry in my heart only blossoming brighter.
I, too, get up on the bed before I step on mama's legs and start walking on them to massage her and relieve her of her pain.
Mama lets out painful noises and it makes me tear up to see her in pain like this.
" What happened?" I ask.
Mama turns her head slightly and looks at me, instantly furrowing her brows when she sees my face.
She gives me a warm smile and it makes my heart calm down a bit. " Don't worry my malaika, mama just had a bad day, that's all. "
Her words manage to calm me down and my eyes dry away from the tears. I gain my energy back again and pay attention to massaging her legs.
" How? What happened today, mama?" I ask her, needing to know why she is in so much pain.
Mama only sighs and turns her head so it's buried in my pillow again. It takes a few seconds for her to respond but she eventually does, " You won't understand my love, when you grow up, I will tell you."
It's the worst answer ever.
I want to know now, I can't wait years before I know what caused my mama this pain.
What if I forget about this day? Mama will never tell me. I know even when I am old like a granny, mama will still say I'm her little baby.
" I don't get it," I huff, standing still on her legs for a brief moment to regain my thoughts " What is so special about growing up? When will I know that I am a grown up?" I ask her.
I look at mama and then at myself. Is it my height? Does she mean when I grow taller, I'll be older?
When I step on a certain spot of her calf, mama hisses and I carefully massage the other parts of her leg while making sure I don't put too much pressure on the spots where it is more painful for her.
Mama doesn't respond to me for a few minutes but I don't mind. I like the silence too, just as long as mama is with me.
" Balance." Mama whispers before she clears her throat, " Balance is how you will know when you are grown up. Just like the way you are balancing on my legs, you are eventually going to have to find the balance in your life. More specifically, the balance in your life between the good and the bad."
