It wasn't supposed to be like this. With my back pinned against the wall and my hands above my head, tears spilling from my eyes as he took me over the edge once again.
" You're a mystery, Sarah." I sob out, my breasts bouncing from each of his thr...
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The world started with fire, but at this moment I feel like mine is going to end with its opposite, water.
Water fills in all passageways of my face, going in so deep I feel the burn of it going through my lungs. When I cough into the water, it only makes it worse. My lungs restrict around each other to the point it feels like they're on fire instead.
I try to tell him I'm suffocating, I try to yell for help, but it only makes the burn worse. I look into the eyes of my father in the reflection of the mirror placed at the bottom of the barrel and see the anger entering his eyes.
I keep tugging on the rope, pulling again and again, telling them to let me up, but they keep me in the depth of the water and force me to suffer.
I know I'm going to have to pay for this later. Face the consequences of showing weakness, but how can I not when I see death right before my eyes.
My body soon gives up on the inevitable fight and let's go. I stop moving, and just lay there as I feel the claws of death grasping into my soul.
And I can suspect it before it even happens, when death has me in its grasp, I'm pulled out of the water, just like every other time.
It's always been the same, just when the darkness of death gets so close that it's a hair away from me, my suffering comes to an end and I'm pulled back into the shadow.
The shadow that has been stuck to me ever since I can remember, staying rooted deep within me and growing stronger by the day.
But sometimes I think the shadow isn't too bad. Darkness can't reach the shadow, it keeps it out with no way of reaching inside.
But when the darkness gets closer and closer each time, I truly get sucked into the spiral of torture; the worst kind imaginable.
I'm reminded of the shadow again when it forces me to breathe. I greedily suck in all the oxygen surrounding me, wheezing and coughing when the air hits my lungs too suddenly that the air feels dry.
I look around and notice the mess I've made with the water while I was flailing in the barrel. But the worst part is just about to start, when I look into my fathers eyes, I only see anger and pity which encircle my body with so much fear I can only remain silent and get my breathing into a normal pace while I listen to my father.
" Again and fucking again, you just can't do it fast enough, can you?" He spits onto my body, anger radiating from him.
My head meets the ground when he kicks me in the stomach and I feel a surge of dizziness go through my body, the pain not even registering until he kicks my body again.
I can't stop it when tears build in my eyes and fall like rainfall on the floor as my father picks me up only to punch my ribcage multiple times.
