Evie | H.S |

42. Bitter Ex

"Water, please". I smiled sweetly at Harry who sat across me in the sprinter van on our way to the airport in Sydney.

Pulling up his canvas tote bag from the floor, he pulled out a bottle and took off the cap, eyening me as I pulled out a pill bottle. "Still got that hanging headache?"

I shook my head, accepting the bottle and throwing the water back with two pills. My hangover was the least of my problems. "Flight anxiety remember?"

His lips formed a tight line. "Guessing your induction to the mile high clubs out of the question then".

"Harry, I'll be comatose - haven't you had enough?" I threw his bottle back at him which he fumbled to block.

He threw me a boyish grin and a perfect set of dimples. "It's never enough with you, Eve".

Last night felt like a dream wrapped in teenage lust and devoid of responsibility. After skipping out on the golf club party, what was meant to be a ten minute walk home took us close to two hours.

Hand in hand, we walked a winding path together with a bottle of red wine between us. I think subconsciously we put off getting home and going to sleep because today we were headed to Melbourne for the last two dates on this tour. It was unspoken, but the way he held on to last night through till the early hours of this morning, made me think he too was prematurely mourning what's been the most unexpected chapter for both of us.

Last night when we eventually did find the house, Harry insisted on a few margaritas by the beach. He'd put on Fleetwood Mac's self titled and we melted into the sand and watched the moon illuminate the water.

"How does New Zealand feel like a lifetime ago now?" He'd said with a gentle sigh. My head was rest on his shoulders and he lay his on top of mine; hands intertwined between us.

It did feel like a lifetime ago. I was never the type to fall let alone fall fast but the past few weeks had flown by in a blur of ups and downs and suddenly I was sat on the beach holding his hand for dear life with the knowledge he would soon slip away.

You've gone soft, Evie.

I was always so fiercely independent; which seemed like a contradiction given I had an innate need for intimate company. The thing with me was, I always held people at an arms length. If I didn't get deep, I couldn't get hurt. Maybe that's why I've always so easily gone back to Tommy, there was a wall up even for him after all this time.

This is why Harry scared me... I didn't have a chance to build those walls before he'd somehow managed to get closer than anyone else had in such a short time. And that hadn't been intentional - there was just this undeniable pull of attraction that caught me completely off guard and saw me ignore all warning and rules I'd set for myself upon our first meeting.

But you know what scared me more than Harry?

Myself.

We hadn't yet touched on logistics but in my mind it was going to go one of two ways; we would part ways and it's done; Or we try and make the long distance work until it fizzles out or I fuck it up by filling a void with someone else because I'm not content with my own company.

It was astonishing to me that somehow my fears about people knowing and all the media bullshit that came along with it had now taken a backseat to my fears of being heartbroken.

"You all good?" A pale blue and white checkered van sneaker gently tapped my knee and bought me back to reality.

I nodded and smiled, eyes looking to Harry rather than into the existential void I'd been staring off into.