LOCK UP - Lando Norris [BOOK 2]

18

Turns out that meal turned into a dinner plan as we sat at that table for hours, reminiscing and talking forms of nonsense. By the time the fairy lights had showered the courtyard into a scene below a thousand stars, Charles and I had imprinted permanent outlines of our bottoms into the seats below us. 

"I'm sorry" I quickly realise, "You're here visiting friends, am I keeping you?" 

Charles chuckles, "Evelyn, seriously? You ignore me all winter, and then I finally get you back and you have to leave me again. We don't speak for almost 3 months, and now you're back again. I'm not going to rush away, I don't know how long I have you for this time" 

That part crushes me. 

"Know I never wanted to leave" I shake my head, "Our friendship was always so precious to me" 

I capture the quick twitch of his outer lip at my comment. "Me too" he mumbles. "Come somewhere with me?" he asks. 

The dish plates that held our dinner not too long ago are stacked between us, and I have never been so full in my life, I need to take a walk. 

I catch his outstretched hand and allow him to lead me out of the restaurant, slipping my hand free from his when we are out on the street, watching as he sends an amused smirk in my direction. 

We walk side by side along the waters edge, stopping in the middle of one of the bridges that cross the river, the city lights casting shadows of colour in it's reflection. We take a seat on the ledge, Charles straddling the concrete block as I sit crossed legged in front of him, playing with loose pieces of fragment. 

"Be honest with me, Ev. What's happening with Lando?" he comforts. 

I take a deep breath, "I don't know. It's quite pathetic really, every single thing I have learned about love, I've learnt from him. But I've equally learned everything I know about pain from him as well. When he and I are good, it's literature, it's more than I know how to comprehend. But when we are bad, it's horrific. And I don't even know how we get there, I feel like he throws me in the deep end and I do all I can just to stay afloat." I feel the tears threatening my eyes, shaking the emotion away, "I don't even know" 

Charles just simply watches me, taking in every word I say, "I just want it to so badly work with him, that I feel like no matter what happens, I'm fighting a losing battle. I feel like because I wanted him for so long, when I finally got him, I had to do whatever I needed to to keep it. But its leaving me to question everything else. How much do I have to lose of myself, of my friendships, of my life, to keep him?" 

Charles lets out a shaky breath, "Do you love him?" 

I wipe the tears from my cheeks and let them fall frustrated into my lap, "Of course I do, Charles. What kind of sane person lets all of that happen if they don't love the person?" I'm laughing through my breaths, but I don't find it funny. 

"Sane person? Do you think you have to be insane to be in love?" he asks, and he's not even cracking a smile, he's serious. 

"What does that even mean, Charles?" I shake my head in confusion. 

"You said, what kind of sane person lets all that happen if they don't love the person? But my question to you, if they really loved you, would they allow you to go through all that?" 

Bringing my two hands up to my head, I rub my face forcefully, trying to make sense of it. 

"Come here" he gestures, peeling off his jacket and folding into a pillow type cushion and encouraging me to lay down in front of him. 

I spin on my bottom and lay down in front of him, my knees bent in front of me, my feet planted on the concrete to balance me. Charles allows his finger to draw aimlessly over the lines of my face. 

"I didn't mean to make you upset, Ev. You know that. I just hate seeing you like this" he comforts. 

"I know, I just, I don't know what to do?" I admit.

I feel goosebumps cover every inch of my skin as his fingers crosses my forehead and down the right side of my face. 

"You do know what to do. You just don't want too. What you need and what you want aren't exactly lining up at the moment, and that's okay. They will" he comforts. 

As much as I want to stay here all night, I know I need to get back to the hotel. Darkness has over taken the city and I need to get back. 

"I need to go" I inform Charles. 

We walk back to the restaurant we were at before to collect my bike, our hands hanging by our sides, grazing each others every so often. 

"I want to see you again" he confesses as I pull my bike from the rack. 

"I want that as well" I admit, although I shouldn't. 

"Good, I'll find you" he kisses my cheek and disappears back inside to where I'm guessing his friends are still drinking. 

As I make my way back to the hotel, I can't help but submitting everything I confessed to Charles to my memory, wondering why I let myself feel the way I do and not doing anything about it. 

I fall into bed and pull out my phone, opening up Instagram and catching up on the days events. Having a look at what people have eaten that day, and double clicking on Charlottes new post of the veggie burger she was testing from Lewis Hamilton's new burger chain that had been spreading across the country like wild fire. 

I tap on Lando's story, seeing location shots of the Maldives, Yuki and Esteban had also taken a trip out there so the three boys were posing for a picture at the local bar. The next story was a video clip of Lando dancing in a nightclub, his phone focused on Esteban and his not so groovy dance moves. I tap on the heart icon to like his story, swipping to the next lot of stories. 

The next one is Esteban's story, showing similar backdrops of the gorgeous surroundings of the ocean villas and he and Yuki on a land buggy speeding through the fields. Then he'd re-shared the picture of the three boys. The next was his own video from the night club, him standing up at the DJ booth and videoing the crowd. 

And that's when I saw it. 

I pulled down the top of my phone, clicking the screen record button and letting the video play through again. Saving the video and then dragging it through slowly as I zoomed in. 

And there it was. 

Lando's arms wrapped around another girl, dancing around with her in the bar. He face burying into her neck to whisper something in her ear and then her throwing her head back in laughter at whatever he's said. 

I lock my phone instantly, throwing it away from me as if it were a time bomb, waiting to go off. 

We're on a break. We're on a break. 

I keep repeating it over and over in my head, but it doesn't stop the pain from bellowing deep in my stomach. 

We're broken. I whisper into the darkness.