Old Money - Rafe Cameron

Chapter 54

Rafe POV

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A/N: I am so sorry.

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The second I told her I wished I hadn't. Well, that's not true. She deserves to know. She deserves to know that I don't deserve her.

I frantically put my clothes back on—minus my shirt that she was wearing—and watched her take in my information. She'd backed up a few steps on her bed, her fist clenched over her heart like she was symbolizing what was happening to it.

She didn't look like she was breathing but I could tell she was by the way her breaths moved stray hairs every couple of seconds. "What do you mean 'with someone'?" She asked as she gasped for breath.

I couldn't tell her. It hurt me more than it did her.

"Come on, Audrey, don't make me say it." I pleaded, not moving from where I was because over the past few months I've learned not to crowd her. But she finally looked over at me, like the conversation wouldn't continue until I told her. "I had sex with her."

I saw her throat roll as she blinked back a couple of tears, her stomach dropping entirely in front of me. I couldn't even think about the fact that she was still in my shirt, but it seemed to be affecting her.

She tugged at it, not over her head, just simply away from her skin, like she wanted to prevent it from infecting her.

I watched the hairs on her arms stick up, like the words I'd said took the life out of her.

"Why?" She whispered and gasped.

I didn't have any excuse, I started to tell her that it meant nothing and the only time I spent with Sofia was inside her—I felt nothing for her—but the words never even came out of my throat because a sob came instead. Although it was probably good I didn't say that, it wouldn't make anything better.

Audrey is the best thing that's ever happened to me. As much as we argue, we love each other more. We both know that. Hopefully right now she can realize that.

"You hadn't been texting to me—"

"You didn't text me either." She heaved and climbed off her bed, pacing gently back and forth. "Rafe, I—" she stopped moving and turned to face me. "I never would have thought of being with someone else."

That's the thing, I know she wouldn't. That's what makes her so much better than me. I simply nodded sadly since I couldn't even say anything. I had so much to say but nothing could take it back.

I wanted to tell her that when I woke up and saw Sofia beside me that I didn't even remember anything. Or that I made her leave the second I registered her being there. Or that the moment I realized what had happened, I've hated myself ever since. And I'd vowed I'd get clean. Never again would I be with someone besides Audrey—sober or not.

It happened the night after Audrey and I had our fight and I'd been coked out for over twenty four hours—I'm not proud of it. I went to the bar and the last thing I remember is Sofia helping me home. I never would've guessed that would result in me waking up beside her.

"Audrey," I swallowed, "baby, what can I do?" I cried and stepped closer to her but she backed up instinctively.

Her eyes looked like they were fuzzy, trying to think of how to respond. I didn't deserve her. Even since I told her what happened, she still provided me with warmth and comfort, which should not even be possible. But with Audrey, it was.

"Who was it?"

My answer shouldn't make any difference... no matter who it was with it was still awful.