JJ's biggest flaw was his recklessness, and his bad ideas. Honestly, that didn't seem that bad to Bexley.
Rafe's biggest flaw? Jealousy. Pure, uncontrolled jealousy.
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a/n: slight sexual context , heavy abuse, heavy violence , gun usage
Nearly an hour later, the hot tub was warmed up, and people were eager to get in.
Most people sat around the firepit. Sarah and Kiara were high, so much so that they were laughing at every little joke Pope made, which boosted the boy's confidence. Pope was happy with Kiara. She could tell. Especially because Pope also started smoking, which Bexley swore she never really saw. She'd once heard Pope say he wanted to 'keep the signal clear' by not being under the influence of alcohol or marijuana.
She liked that phrase. She wished she'd heard it a long time ago. Maybe it wouldn't have been as embarrassing to say 'no' to drinks at parties if she had a cool phrase like that.
Either way, Pope obviously felt trust in his friends that night, because he was smoking and drinking.
Bexley swore she felt that trust too. Because she was on her third beer of the night, and she wasn't feeling anxious at all. And Bexley could've sworn she was an anxious drunk. But she wasn't, she now realized. Turns out, she was a happy drunk. She would just always be around a boy that made her so, so nervous.
But Rafe nervous.
Not JJ nervous.
She didn't like when Rafe made her nervous. Because it was just a new way of feeling scared.
But JJ nervous...
She didn't mind that at all.
It was a pit that formed in her stomach. But not the kind that felt like it would explode, like the one she'd get when she could tell Rafe was about to snap about something. No, this pit in her stomach felt like the kind you'd get before a big drop on a rollercoaster. Impossible to take your mind off of, but also impossible not to be excited about.
That was a good way to describe JJ as a person, Bexley realized. Excited. Always. Especially now. She watched him feel the spa water, and his face lit up when he realized it was done warming up. As soon as he felt the heat, he pulled off his shirt and jumped in.
Her brother did the same, and she couldn't help but laugh at the fact they looked like little kids visiting a pool for the first time over the summer. They looked like they were having so much fun just sitting there. Pope was a little slower to get in.
"Clothes in the hot tub?" Pope asked. "Isn't that bad for the filtration system?"
"Imma be in my shorts or imma be naked, pick what you prefer," JJ told him.
Pope scoffed, but eventually pulled off his shirt and got in with his shorts on as well. Sarah and Kiara weren't as modest. They took off their shirts and their pants, getting in only in their underwear.
Of course they weren't shy, Bexley realized, because they were so beautiful. But seeing that they were in their bras and underwear, they put a different knot in Bexley's stomach now. Because she wondered if she was expected to do the same. And if she was, she knew she wouldn't look as nice as they did. Oh god, she felt self-doubt hit her fast and hard.
