JJ's biggest flaw was his recklessness, and his bad ideas. Honestly, that didn't seem that bad to Bexley.
Rafe's biggest flaw? Jealousy. Pure, uncontrolled jealousy.
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The hotel room was small. But it was all they needed.
"Alright, two beds. Girls will take one and boys will take one," John B said aloud.
Pope and Kiara had already left for town. It was just the four of them left behind now: John B, Sarah, JJ, and Bexley. Kiara was able to get them a room on the top floor. They kept the window closed so John B wouldn't be seen. The room was nice, Bexley realized. Not as nice as her and Rafe's hotel in Hawaii, but it was still nice sheets, nice paintings, nice enough to make her feel nauseous because it triggered memories of her and Rafe on vacation.
She shuddered.
The vacation she took to grieve Susan...a vacation she took with Susan's killer...
She glanced at the bed, and wondered if it'd be possible to actually get any sleep in here.
JJ was also looking around, and he had the urge to make the joke 'maybe we should couple up in the beds'. Or, even 'maybe we should all be in the same bed, it'll be safer'. Luckily, his mind told him how inappropriate that would be before said anything out loud.
"You can relax now," John B told his sister. "Get some sleep. You don't have to worry about anyone finding us here."
But worry wouldn't leave her mind for even an instant.
In that instant, for the first time in her life, she understood why adults would say the phrase 'I need a beer' after a hard day. Because alcohol relaxed you whether you wanted it to or not. And she almost wished she had a beer at that moment.
"Hey, look at this," JJ mumbled to John B. The two of the boys laughed at an ocean painting on the wall, making stupid 'that one looks like you' jokes to one another and pointing at different ugly drawn fishes.
It seemed like such a boy thing to do. And Bexley wished she had the same playfulness as her brother. She wished a painting could pull her thoughts away from the murderer she barely escaped. The night went on, and she felt even more isolated as the pogues were able to enthrall themselves on random hotel tv shows, and inside jokes; ones they tried to explain but of course...Bexley was Bexley, and she already knew she was bad at understanding things.
When it got late, dark and emptier outside, the rest of the pogues finally became as tired as she was.
The boys put chairs in front of the door, blocked the windows, Sarah went to take a shower, and Bexley still stood awkwardly near the wall.
"You want to shower next?" John B offered her.
Bexley shook her head. The warm water didn't sound as appealing as it used to.
"You can head right to bed if you want," John B informed her. "We'll turn off the light. We'll be quiet."
Bexley waited a moment, then nodded, and got into the bed. And she felt gross, because she was under the blanket in her outside clothes. It'd been so long since she got in her bed with her clothes on, and she was reminded of her worse days on The Cut, when she couldn't sleep in pajamas because it was so common for Madelyn to randomly wake her up and send her out of the house. She hated feeling dirty again.
