Boys Like You / Tyrion Lannister

18. Looney Lysa

Calm as still water, Arya told herself. Strong as a bear. Fierce as a wolverine.

"Found one bastard." one said. "the rest will come soon. A day or two days a fortnight.."

"And when he leans the truth, what will he do?" a second voice asked.

"The gods alone know." the first answered and arya held her breath. "The fools tried to kill his son, and whats wrong they made a mummers farce of it. He's not a man to put that aside. I warn you, the wolf and the lion will soon be at each others throats, whether we will it or no."

"Too soon, too soon." the second man countered. "What good is a war now We are not ready. Delay."

"As well bid me stop time. do you take me for a wizard?"

"No less." he agreed with a chuckle.

Arya had found a cat, a tom cat, she was excited, she was quick and light on her feet, but it scratched at her trying to get away and then she stumbled upon a clearly private conversation but she couldnt move, if she did she would be caught. She had to just sit and hope they left her alone and didnt see her at all.

"What would you have me do?"

"If one hand can die, why not a second?"

That made Arya's heart race.

"You have danced the dance before, my friend."

"before it not now, and this hand is not the other."

Still as stone, quiet as a shadow, Arya thought to herself.

"Nonetheless, we must have time. the princess is with child. the Khal will not bestir himself until a son is born. You know they are savages."

"This is no longer a game for two platers if ever it was." The short man countered. "stannis baratheon and lysa arryn have fled beyond my reach, you should hear the whispers." 

+

"You're far from home, Lady Stark." Egen remarked when they got to the vale.

"To whom do I speak?" Catelyn countered.

"So this is the vale, its pretty awesome." RIeka remarked looking around. 

"You think I'm going to die here?" Tyrion pondered. 

"Ser Vardis Egen, Knight of The Vale. Is Lady Arryn expecting your visit?"

"There was no time to send word." Catelyn corrected.

"I would like to say no but..." Riek shrugged. "Mum took her murder juice and I have a feeling Loney Lysa had been taking her crazy juice for years so... good luck."

"Your confidence is overwhelming." Tyrion countered. She grabbed his hand and he felt her own nervous pulse beating all the way down her hand. 

"may I ask, my Lady, why he is with you?" Egen questioned looking to Tyrion.

"That's why there was no time. He is my prisoner." Catelyn agreed Tyrion offered a small smile.

"He doesn't look like a prisoner." Egen countered seeing his hands free.

"My sister will decide what he looks like." Catelyn demanded.

"Yes, my Lady. She will at that." The guards led them inside.

" The Eyrie. They say it's impregnable." Tyrion remarked as they headed in.

"Give me 10 good men and some climbing spikes... I'll impregnate the bitch." Bronn corrected. Tyrion chuckled smiling up at him.

"I like you." Tyrion decided.

"Me too. He did almost give us a room." Rieka recalled. "Whats your name again?"

"Bronn." he answered. 

"What house are you from Bronn?" Rieka questioned. 

"You wouldnt know 'em." Bronn assured. 

At the Eyrie, Catelyn, her men, and Tyrion were all standing in front of Lady Arryn. Her son was sitting on her lap, breastfeeding. He was clearly too old to be doing so Rieka thought. If she ever had children she didnt want them gnawing at her for ages, that boy had teeth for heavens sake. 

" You bring him here without permission? You pollute my home with his presence? Your aunt has done a bad thing, Robin, a very bad thing." Lysa tsked from her throne. "You remember her, don't you? And who is that?"

"RIeka Stark. Its nice to meet you Aunt Lysa." Rieka offered. 

"Rieka..." Lysa repeated looking her over with disgust. "My son, Robin... Isn't he beautiful? And strong too."

"Handsome little boy." Rieka agreed and Robin smiled back at her through his mothers teat in his mouth. Rieka felt sick being in the same room as this. 

 "Jon knew it. His last words were, "the seed is strong." He wanted everyone to know what a good, strong boy his son would grow up to be. Look at him, the Lord of all the Vale." Lysa declared.

"Lysa, you wrote me about the Lannisters, warning me t-" Catelyn began but Lysa waved a hand cutting her off.

"To stay away from them! Not to bring one here!" Lysa spat back. 

"Aunt lysa warned you and you still wanted me to-" Rieka stopped herself at Catelyn's glare. "Because you thought-" she circled a finger around her temple. Catelyn huffed a breath. 

"Mommy? Is that the bad man?" Robin questioned pulling away from her teat.

'It is." Lysa agreed.

"He's little." Robin countered and Tyrion's face pinched. Yes, he was no threat, he was little sure... lets go with that.

"He is too little be of any danger." Rieka agreed. "We are sorry we wasted your time." 

"He's Tyrion the Imp of House Lannister. He killed your father. He murdered the Hand of the King!" Lysa shouted.

"Oh? Did I kill him too? I've been a very busy man." Tyrion realized. Rieka snorted a laugh, trying to hold it back. 

"You will watch your tongue! These men are Knights of the Vale. Every one of the loved Jon Arryn. Every one of them would die for me." Lysa spat.

"If any harm comes to me, my brother, Jaime, will see that they do." Tyrion warned.

"Kingslayer." Rieka agreed. "Scary man." 

"You can't hurt us! No one can hurt us here! Tell him, mommy! Tell him!" Robin shouted.

"Shh... Shh... Shh, my sweet boy. He's just trying to frighten us. Lannisters are all liars. No one will hurt my baby." Lysa coed running a hand over his head.

" Mommy... I want to see the bad man fly." Robin decided and Tyrion took a step back. The Moon door.

"I want to see the moon door but no one thrown threw it." Rieka agreed stepping forward. 

"Perhaps you will, my little love." Lysa coed to Robin. 

"This man is my prisoner. I will not have him harmed." Catelyn corrected. 

"Is this it?" Rieka questioned touching a covered well in the floor. 

"Rieka," Catelyn warned reaching for her. 

"Ser Vardis, my sister's guest is weary. Take him down below so he can rest. Introduce him to Mord." Lysa instructed.

Mord threw Tyrion into a sky cell. One that overlooked the world and just so happened to be missing a wall in case you happened to roll over to your death before your trial.