It had been a month since he left. I had barely left my room when possible.
"Ashton please whatever I did wrong I am so sorry where the fuck are you."
That was the first text I sent him.
"Ash this isn't funny please I miss you so much x."
"Ashton Irwin where on earth are you I miss you like hell."
"The hate has stopped."
"And if you don't come back from hiding my heart is going to do the same."
"Where are you."
"Please talk to me."
"Sorry."
And this is just over two months.
I no longer took in my surroundings everything was so dull with out him. I hadn't laughed or even smiled since he left.
What's worse I don't even know why he left.
"Ashton please answer me you're breaking my heart and it won't be healed till you come back."
"WHERE THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU!"
"Ash please please you're killing me."
I hated my life at the moment. but I had kept my promise to him and I wasn't about to break it.
Calum came over after dinner he brought like and Mia and Emma.
They laughed and we talked but it just seemed so empty without him. I could tell the boys missed him to.
No matter how hard the tried to cover it up.
"Guys. Where is he." I said blankly in the middle of their conversation.
"We've have told you," Calum said sighing so I knew he did know. "We don't know." He lied.
"Liv, they would tell you if they knew." said Mia.
"Wouldn't you baby." she said looking at Cal.
"Yes. Of course." Sure he told Mia that but I noticed his eyes never met hers.
They continued talking but no words came out there mouths.
Instead their lips just opened and closed stupidly. I went back to looking out the window.
Remembering all our cute stupid things we use to do. Lock our fingers together. kiss down my neck. Get lost in his hair.
I missed everything about him. Yet ever boy I saw reminded me of him. Frizzy hair. dimpled smile. Muscular arms. Black skinny jeans.
Everything.
"Dear Ash I am trying again to find you, to reach out. Yet I am stuck for words. All I have to say is, when you weren't in my life I was colour blind I didn't really go out I sort of just messed around with friends but never really went anywhere. And then you stepped in. And everything came to life, came to colour. Everything was perfect, just like you. You were my sunshine sure you came with hate but we could've dealt with that. Running away might make it better for a while but in the long run, this fixes nothing.
I miss you so much you can't begin to imagine. Imagine how much you meant to me, and how meaningless life is to me now. Please come back Ash I miss you to much I have cried a river over you now I'm all out of tears and I need you. Please. I wish I was beside you Ashton Irwin."
