I wonder what being dead feels like.
It probably feels like this.
I was awaken from my deep thoughts when Josh walked in, he was smiling.
I wanted to punch him all of the blood slowly drained out of me I tried a smile but it looked more like a grimace.
"Hey." he said he made his way towards me.
I sat up chucked my pound coin as hard as I could at his head and turned over.
It hit his head. Yesss.
"Ouch!" He shouted, "what is up with you." I had a feeling he knew what this was about.
"Go away Josh I never want to see you in my life ever again." I screamed at the top of my voice. He looked shocked.
"Wha--" he began.
"YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. NOW GET OUT!" I screamed at the top of my lungs tears rolling silently down my already red cheeks.
"I-" Then he stopped.
"Just get out." I whispered.
"No you don't understand I thought I was trying to help you-" He was making me feel sick.
"You thought this would help, oh wow aren't you just the cleverest little boy in the world." I said in mock congratulation. "You did nothing, no actually you did. You made my whole life ten times worse. I got out of my bed, the doctors had said I was allowed now.
I let him try and apologise whilst I got dressed in the bathroom.
Oh wait no I didn't I let him think he was while I ignored him.
When I came out I saw he was crying.
"Listen I know you won't believe me but I did it because what he wrote was ten times worse and I couldn't let you see that." he said through sobs.
Oh god. He meant it.
"Let me see." I said blankly.
"No I-"
"Let me see it." I said again more firmly.
He pulled out a manly old piece of paper there was no picture just some writing I read it. Why I do not know.
"Stop texting. Get well. Ashton Irwin."
I screamed and ran out the hospital grabbing Josh's hand.
We ran to the end of the park there were salty tears flying everywhere.
I was a mess. Poor Josh he had no idea what had hit him.
I just wanted to run, it made me feel better no that's a lie nothing could make me feel better.
I ran all the way to school and I stood on the front steps dragged Josh close and kissed him.
I kissed him because I needed to try and feel some emotion not because I like him. I felt nothing.
All I could feel was someone watching us.
---------------------
---------------------
So this is the last chapter of the first book, yes there will be a second hahahaha :))
