Owned - Billie Eilish gxg

Chapter twelve: salvation

Rose's POV:

Thoughts and loneliness. That was all I had ever since I angered Billie... I couldn't control myself after I found out that Madison was... And I said the worst things I could ever say to Billie. I thought she would whip me again or cut me but she didn't... She just asked the staff of the hotel to prepare a soundproofed room for me and dragged me there to lock me up. The staff didn't even question her because of her status.

In the room there only was a bed and bottles of water. Nothing else. The window was small and couldn't be opened. It was sticky and cold in this room. Billie didn't speak to me or came into the room even once after she locked me up. There was only me, I was trapped with and I hated myself. Being trapped with my own thoughts was a nightmare.

I just found out that Madison was dead and now I couldn't even distract myself or comfort myself with anything. I was forced to think about this and I was forced to blame myself for it. I cried so much that it felt like I was drowning in my own tears but I didn't allow to pity myself. I deserved all the punishment in the world for the disgusting things I did.

Not only was it my fault that Madison was dead, I also slept with her murderer but in the end... I was the one, who killed her and that was all I could think about after I was locked up in this room. All I could do was think and it was pure torture. I didn't want to be alone... I didn't want to be with myself. I hated myself for everything and the more I was trapped in this room, the hate grew larger and larger.

I tightly held the blanket around me, to escape the cold air in this room but I was still shivering. I didn't know for how long I was locked up. I completely lost my feeling of time, all I knew was that I didn't got any food for a while and my stomach was killing me. I only had water and water alone couldn't make the cramps get away.

I never felt so weak in my entire life. It felt like all of my life was sucked out of me. Would Billie just leave me to slowly die here with the thought that everything was my fault? I could definetely see her do that. I told her that I loved Madison and not her. Maybe she gave up on me and searched for a new lover but she also didn't want anyone else to have me...

No matter what, I deserved it. How could I even have the nerve to claim to love Madison, when I was the reason why she was dead. I didn't even do anything to save her, so how could I have the honor to love her? She deserved to be loved by someone, who would've saved her. I just closed my eyes and whimpered into my pillow until I heard an angelic voice call out to me.

"You have to stay strong Rose.", the familiar voice said and I instanly looked up only to be shocked. This couldn't be... "Madison!!", I called out while I stumbled towards her. She pulled me into her arms and hugged me very tight. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...", I whispered into her chest while she gently ran her hand through my hair.

"You don't have to be sorry.", she replied and I looked up to her. "Yes I do! It was my fault! It was all my fault!!", I yelled out but she put her fingers on my lips. "Billie's madness isn't your fault. Listen, you can't let her break you.", Madison said very serious. "I'm dying Madi. She will starve me.", I said but she shook her head. "She would never let you die. She just wants to break you down but you can't let her do that. I know you feel guilty for my death even though you shouldn't but if you want to do me justice, you can't let her win.", Madison explained while I sniffed.

"But I deserve to die. I deserve to be broken down. It's all my fault.", I said and she suddenly started to shake me. "Alright, seems like I have to do it this way, if you want me to forgive you for the things you did, you have to keep fighting and escape Billie. You mustn't let her win because if you do, you will never get salvation even if you die.", she said and my eyes widened in fear.