As Cold as the Night

Chapter 40

Chapter 40
"Peace"

Then I thought, that maybe that's why it will never going to work out-our family-it has long fallen apart. As I long for a conventional setup of a family, it's painful and sad that we can never be that. Kaya siguro, in exchange, I get what I want but never what I need.

And what makes it more painful, is that maybe everyone knows about it... except me.

It is a silent battle I have to endure for I don't know how long. Kahit nang umuwi na si Mommy wala akong nasabi. I couldn't confront Mommy or Daddy. I am scared of the impending truth. I am scared of what's going to happen after then.

"Carmi, remember when you told me you saw my dad and Tita Iris?"

Nabitin sa ere ang pagsubo niya. She eyed me, nanlalaki ang mga mata niya.

Matagal niya na iyong sinabi sa'kin, na nakita niya raw si Daddy with another woman. We were only sixth graders at that time. I trust Carmi as a friend, but I opt to refuse to listen to her, besides we were still young back then. I wouldn't dare doubt my father.

"But I refused to believe you."

"Polka..." Her shoulder sag. Tuluyan niyang ibinaba ang tinidor.

In eighth grade, she once again told me, my father's with another woman she was not familiar with. That time, even her family saw them. May ipinakita pa siyang litrato sa'kin, but then I still didn't take her words for it.

"At sa pangalawang beses, hindi pa rin."

It almost ruined our friendship. Kaya mula no'n she never mentioned anything about it o kahit siguro may bago siyang natuklasan... for the sake of our friendship.

Tita Iris works for us before. I don't know where she is now. And it's just not her. I have heard different names. My father has other women, it was a circulating rumor in the past which I refused to believe.

Tumayo siya sa upuan niya, tumabi sa akin at agad akong niyakap.

It's like it's only now that everything makes sense. Gano'n ba ako kahina para ngayon lang mapagtanto ang lahat?

I am mad. Pero ga'no man ako nasasaktan, I couldn't hate them. It's their wrong actions that I hate. And I feel like I have no right to interfere with their doings just because I am their child.

"I-I saw Mommy with someone else... s-sa Okada," I admitted painfully.

Umawang ang labi niya sa gulat. Natigilan siya at mas napatitig sa'kin.

She looked around. It's just us here in Pet Perry, sa second floor kaya I can freely say it without fearing na may makarinig na iba.

"I didn't know what to do. I... I just walked away..."

"Oh damn... I-I honestly don't know what to say," nahihirapan niyang amin.

"May kinalaman ba ako kaya naging ganito? D-Did I somehow contribute to ruining my parents' marriage?"

"No!" agresibo niyang sabi. "Polka! 'Wag kang mag-isip ng ganyan, please. Oh shit!"

"Tatanggapin ko na lang ba na ganito? Should I just stay silent... and let it be?"

"You poor thing. I don't know how to comfort you... a-and I'm not in the position to comment or give you advice."

She hugged me once more.

"I'm here for you, okay?" she assured me.

Sa sumunod na linggo, sinukatan na ako para sa gagawing gown. Tatlo ang magiging gown ko. May schedule na rin sa gagawing pre-debut shoot. It was thought to have my debut sa property sa Sinuda pero dahil sa petsa at okasyon, mas mabuting dito lang din ganapin ang selebrasyon. Maraming ang imbetado, usually business people and politicians of the city and the neighboring cities and municipalities. Ganoon kapag may malaking okasyon sa pamilya namin. Invites will be sent out the first week of December.