love,
you were never kind to me
i never experienced genuine love
from anyone who i gave mine to
it was always waves of inconsistencies
and what ifs
it was always
never
the sure thing
it was always me and another option
and picking me was always the wrong answer
i was always used to being the last choice
or the wrong pick
from my father
to my first love
to several that followed and
friends and
until the final flicker of love
it was always
"i never said to give me love,
you yourself decided to do it
to give it
to stay
to not leave
to make the effort
it's all your doing
and i never asked for it
in the first place,"
you're right
absolutely right
what am i supposed to say now?
where do i belong?
where do i stand in your life, then?
it was always
always
"i'm not forcing you to stay
if you want to leave
then do so,"
WHY?
why does it always have to be like that?
why am i the someone people don't make an effort to, to make me to stay?
am i not worth the effort?
why is it always
if i don't make the effort myself
then i basically let myself disappear into
nothingness
because i know
they won't be making an effort to
reach out to me and
find me
for they always said i was free to leave
and so the responsibility
the burden
and the conscience
falls on me
the void
the emptiness
feels comforting
that i would rather just
end my existence
than to experience any more pain and sadness
why am i never the right option?
why is it always
love,
you were never kind to me
?
YOU ARE READING
a hurricane of blues | poetry book 2 ✔
Poetry[ poetry and prose book 2 ] ❝you're so good at comforting others but who's comforting you?❞ a shelf of poems and proses containing the chaos and pain of heartache, loneliness, anger, grief, and sadness. s t a r t e d : f e b r u a r y 2 0 2 1 e n d...
