Cordelia

chapter 24~ big

I put my head on my hand, which was out of the window holding a cigarette.
No one is home, so it's a good thing that no one heard me cry.

I haven't cried like this for years.

Cigarettes aren't helping. I'm not sure what else to do; I don't have a weed, so I can't get my mind out of what Lee said to me.

Unfortunately, I hear someone opening the door, and he suddenly storms inside my room. My head snaps towards the door to see who it is.

Usually no one comes to my room without a knock. I look at him and see. Everet,

I mean Lee

"What are you doing here?" I ask quietly.

"We're enemies, right?" he asks.

I don't say anything; I don't consider him as my enemy, but does he?

"So how does it work? Do they pay you or give you information for you to sleep with them, or both?" he asks, and I stay silent.

"Lee i-" I look at him with my glossy eye because he's right.

"Fine, I'll give them to you, so shut up, and right now is your time to push me away if this is not what you want," he tells me and comes for a kiss.

His kiss melts my tongue. I couldn't make myself pull away from his grip, not because I couldn't, but because I didn't want to.

He kisses me, and suddenly I feel a salty taste in my mouth.

"There's no need for tears," he said.

"I'm giving you what you want; I want the show you give to your customers," he demands. "I want the full experience, so lead the way."

I started to undress myself; I was left only in my black bra and underwear. I got on my fours and slowly started to get close to his pants.

I look up in healing hope that he realizes what he's making me do, but when I look up, I see nothing but rage and desire in his eyes.

I unzip his pants.

Holy fuck, he's big.

"Why so shocked?" A smirk curls on his lips.

I put my lips on top of his tip. I started to suck him off, but then I heard him say

"Hit me if you can't take it," and I feel pain grow into pleasure.

When he was done, he wrapped one arm around my waist and threw me on the bed.

He takes off his shirt, and he's now naked.

He moves his hand to my back, in attempt to take off my bra.

"I-" I suddenly got shy.

"Why so shy all of a sudden?" he asks.

"It's just that; it's you," I say.

He left my bra alone, but he didn't do the same with my underwear.

He literally ripped it off of me.

He's on his knees, looking at my naked body.

I got shy and wanted to cover myself, but I knew why I was doing it, and I also knew that my answer would satisfy him.

"Fuck," he murmurs and kisses me.

And again, I feel like melting, like time has frozen, like nothing matters.

I take off my bra and see Lee smirk.

"It was hard breathing in it." It was the half truth.

He started to suck on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and inner thighs, and then he made me feel like my insides were melting.

Moan after moan envelops my lips.

"I can't hold back anymore," he says quietly, but I managed to hear it.

He slowly puts his cock inside of me. I shut my eyes as the sudden pain reminded me of old times.

"Are you okay?" he asks. He sounds so demanding, but he still cares.

I nod, and he continues. When he was finally inside, he gave me a few seconds to adjust.

While I was adjusting, he was spoiling me with kisses.

~~~

I lay in bed as I looked at him zipping his pants.

I opened my mouth to tell him something, but he didn't let me.

"Here's the details," he said, putting it on a chair and walking away.

I look at myself in the mirror from the bed, and I feel so dirty.

I did it again.

And He knew I would do it, which is why he brought those papers with him.

I cried and felt like going to sleep, but then remembered that I couldn't

I still have to take a shower.

I cried during the show.

I understand that if I didn't want to do it, I could just push him away, but the reality is that I really do need those papers to know where Fyodor is.

Because if I find him, I'm free, and my family will be free. I never wanted this life; I never wanted to be in gangs, do those missions, or be a murderer. I was born into it, and now that I've his location, I can finally have the life I deserve.

I truly liked him, and I wanted him to sleep with me or be with me, not because of those papers, because it's him, you know, but it happened, although in my mind I slept with him because I liked him, but in his mind I slept with him because of those papers.