Cordelia

chapter 31 ~ forgiveness

Everetts P.O.V

I watched through the window as she made her way towards my door.

I stare at her; she looked even more beautiful the day that I lost her.

I think about how badly I messed up.

I messed up the future when I could have had

The jne that didn't even begin for her, but for me, on the other hand...

I know what kind of relationship we had while leaving together; some people must have things that we didn't like each other, or at least that I didn't like her, but that's not the truth.

The first time I saw her, I was in shock, not because of what that girl was doing here but because her dark eyes haunted me every time I closed my eyes.

Her long eyelashes and thick eyebrows, her black long hair, her small nose, siren eyes, and full lips that are naturally pink

And don't even let me start when I first saw her smile and her pulse were relieved, or this sound of her laugh.

Her laugh was so natural; it was not one of those when girls try to impress males; it was the real one, the kind of laugh that is like a melody that is like a song to my heart. I want to always hear it and never be apart from it.

Hearing her every laugh, seeing her dimples while smiling, and her dark and haunting yet warm and welcomed eyes Eyes that will make sure that you will never look at another eye color the same again.

The way her eyes were shining at me the second we were kissing—how could you ever forget that? But a few weeks ago, when I first saw her after five months of not seeing her, she walked past me as if she didn't know me. Maybe she really didn't, but at the end of the day, who knows the real answer? Only her.

We walked past each other like we were strangers, as if we had never known each other.

And I hate every second of it.

In the end, I fell and made our story end when it still needed to begin.

I was raised in a household where love was nothing; it was meaningless. It may sound like an excuse for my behavior, but that's the reality I have lived in for many years. I was never raised in an environment where I was shown what I loved, and my father made sure of it.

I spent my whole life thinking that love and feelings are meaningless and that there's no point in them. I knew that all those things had already happened to me, but I realized it way too late.

I cut myself out of my thoughts when I heard a knock. I walked to the door and opened it.

"Hi," I said, giving her a sad smile. I don't want her to think that I'm happy, because even though the singer in front of my door makes me happy, I know for sure that she's not here for jokes.

Her face shows it.

"Come in," I tell her. She comes in and takes a seat on a couch.

I'm nervous

"Can I ask how you knew where I lived?" I ask quietly.

"I have my ways," she states. Naya probably told her. Not that I told Naya where I live, but she's good at finding people.

"Listen, because I won't be repeating myself," she begins, and I nod, not saying a thing.

"I don't know what you want from me; I understand that I did a lot of bad things, and I'm not going to apologize for them. I'm not even going to waste my time explaining why you had the chance to listen, but you never did. I tried my best to leave the life I had behind, and finally I'm free from him, and I do not want to go back, and if the reason why you're here is because of revenge for your sister, just kill me."

My eyes widened when I heard her words.

"I'm not planning on killing you." I shook my head.

Her eyes widened; I wasn't sure if it was disappointment in them or how I would know my answer didn't please her.

"Why?" she asks.

She interrupted me and started to speak again.

"I know what revenge is; trust me, you can do whatever you want with me; just leave the innocent people out of it." Her voice has no emotions; she doesn't beg; she's serious about what she's saying.

"Cord-" I hesitated to say her first name: "Aurora, I'm not going to kill anyone." I informed her

"Then what do you want?" she asks, waiting for my answer.

I sign. How should I put this?

"I want something that I don't deserve," I begin.

She raised her eyebrow in curiosity.

"And I just don't want it for you to give me. I want to earn it, and I know it's going to be hard, but I want to try. I want to put in the effort." She probably doesn't believe me. She hates me. Hell, I hate myself.

"Are you going to tell me or are you going to just waste my time?" she questions.

"Forgiveness," I say as I sigh; it sounded more like a beg, because it is

She looks at me for a second, and the side of her lip curls into a sad smile.

"Can't" was all she said, and my heart dropped.

But that's nothing that I do not deserve.