Take My Hand (Thomas Brodie Sangster)

Part 17 Y/n

"Thomas?" I asked as we passed the cigarette back and forth between us. Still snuggled sweetly, our bodies sweaty and sticky below the sheets.
"Ummm?" He smiled kissing my head
"If we are going to get married-"
"Of course we are angel"
"Could you tell me about your family?"
"I don't know if I wanna get into it, all the sad and depressive after the nicest moment in my life"
"Please I'm curious"
"Will you tell me yours?"
"I will"
"Alright" he says pulling me closer, "my father is lord of a manor and it's lands he inherited down though the family as one does, he'd always been a dick allowed to do whatever he wanted simply because people wouldn't dare say no, his father was worse spoilt him beyond measure. When he became an adult you can imagine he wasn't the nicest especially when he didn't get his way. My mother… was insanely beautiful, kind, voice of an angel, all the men for miles tried to bid for her hand in marriage and, my father won out. They were married in the autumn and by spring I came along. And that's when things began to change in my mother, she wasn't happy like she was before, she wasn't the angelic girl people knew before. She sunk so deeply and so quickly into depression after I was born she did her best to put a brave face on and all but it got harder and harder for her. It didn't help she didn't much want anything to do with my father anymore which made him angry, he'd hit her and force her to do things even if she cried thought it. Didn't exactly set me up all that well and then… it happened" he explained
"What happened?"
"My father was downstairs with his poker buddies them all often barking orders at my mother and treating her like their bar maid. He ordered her to put me to bed so she took me up for a bath even if she often had to leave to take care of them, and one to many orders… she just snapped. She cried like I'd never seen her cry before locked us both in the bathroom as she was completely overcome with emotion and in this high strung emotional state, she looked the bathroom door and cried hysterically about everything, everything her done to her, how he treated her, the life she gave up for him, how she never wanted me, how she never wanted this life and… she- tried to kill herself and me."
"What?"
"She tried to cut her wrists and then used her whole weight to force me down in the bath. She tried to drown me"
"How'd you survive?"
"The maids heard the ruckus and broke the door down. I was seconds from drowning her only moments from death."
"What did your father do?"
"He saw her like that, saw what she did and… he sent her away. To the sanitarium. To be tortured and locked up like some animal. I never saw her again. I assume she's still alive frankly I have no idea" he explained "since then my father's looked after me and he's not the kindest"
"Oh my goodness Thomas I'm so sorry"
"It's okay, you know the worst part though?"
"No, when he sent her away for he first time in my life I saw him upset. And when I asked him why he gave me the worst possible answer. Having just seen your wife, try to kill herself and your son, having just sent the woman you love off to some sanitarium, he was upset… because it would get out and people would think less of us because my mother was crazy. Not that he just sent his wife away. Not that his son would go without a mother. Nothing like that. He was worried people would talk and her being sick would hurt his previous reputation."
"Next time I see him I'm going to push him into the sea"
"Hummm that's my girl" he Cooes kissing my head
"Is he where all your bruises come from?' I asked carefully running my hand over one on his chest and he nods
"I'm kicking him into the sea" I said and he chuckled "I promise once we're married no more bruises"
"That's sweet of you y/n. But you don't know how clumsy I am"
"No non accidental bruises" I giggled
"Thank you, that means a lot" he smiled "can I hear about you?" He whispered into my hair
"Of course" I smiled "I suppose I had a fairly normal life, we had a little house by the sea, I use to go out and draw the little boats that came and went. Until my father lost his job my mother began to work much harder given she had to support us all now, my father began to drink he was never mean drunk just sad, he would just drink at home all day he only really went out when the lake froze over to ice fish. Things got better once my mother got pregnant again I was excited to be a big sister but… neither of them made it, I remember her screams and then the haunting silence of them."
"Oh my god… I'm so sorry y/n, when did she die?"
"I had just turned ten"
"What about your father?"
"He drank much more, went off on his own alot. You remember when we first met you asked if I'd done that before?"
"You did it alot for him. Didn't you?"
"Almost constantly, I talked him off that cliff edge more times than I can count." I explained "one day… we went out ice fishing on the lake he had been drinking alot and I fell in"
"You - You fell into the lake?"
"I did. It wa so so cold. And the water was still moving under the ice so I got swept away from the home. That's how I know how cold that water is, I know how horrible it is to drown, because he just left me there under the ice to die. I managed to break through and I'm still here but been scared of water ever since"
"I guess thats unfortunately something we share" he says kissing my hand "is he still alive?"
"No, I couldn't talk him down a few weeks later."
"I'm so sorry y/n"
"It's okay, I think I did pretty good for myself regardless"
"You have" he smiled pulling me closer "neither of us had the best time of it with our families… but maybe then it'll make us better for our little family"
"Ummm" I nodded nuzzling even closer "two girls and a little boy"
He chuckled "what about two boys and a girl?"
"Maybe two boys and two girls?"
"I think I can work with that" he smirked "a cat? Or a dog?"
"A little dog"
"Okay, we'll get married and us, the children and the little dog can all go and live in a cute little cottage"
"With a big garden?"
"A huge garden for all your lovely flowers with enough space for the children to play"
"And close enough to walk with the children to the village shop
"We could go to the little sweet shop"
"Ivy up the cottage walls"
"A little thatched roof?"
"And one of those cute little sunrooms off the garden to read in."
"And a big fireplace to get cozy next too"
"It sounds lovely Thomas"
"Heavenly my angel. I can't imagine a life any better"