Take My Hand (Thomas Brodie Sangster)

Part 9 y/n

"Hello?" I called across the ship it echoing in the darkness

He didn't move

"Are you okay?" I asked

I he moved back and I relaxed a little seeing him sit on the bench with his clothes, I went to continue my walking but I couldn't look away as he picked his leg up and began untying his shoes

"Sir?" I called but he was undeterred or couldn't hear me losing both his shoes and marching to the edge grabbing the railing and the moment his foot touched the railing and began to climb over.

Immediately I knew what was happening and with no regard for the rules of the ship I bolted I grabbed my dress and bolted as fast as I could across the wooden deck jumping over the barriers and ropes preventing the mix of classes by the time I reached the first class area he was already over the other side his hands grip all that held him on the ship 

"Don't!" I yelled grabbing the railing making him slightly jump to see me I was right he was crying, eyes bloodshot, his whole body physically shaking his grip all that kept him on the ship 

"Stay back!" He answered 

"Please - please - just"

"Leave me alone" 

"No. No please it's okay it's okay"

"It's not okay! Please just go. Leave me alone"

"You know as well as I can I can't go now. I won't leave I promise I'm right here,"

He cracked a little the anger disappearing revealing the truth he was broken unable to hold his tears "Please... just stay back. Just let me do this."

"You don't want to do this"

"Now do you know what I want!"

"I don't you're right I don't. All I know is that's a really really long way down. And it's not quick. It's not painless. The only thing I can guarantee is there's no going back. Not If you let go" I told him and he seemed for a moment to calm down "just breathe okay. Big breath in big breath out" he did as I told him so I walked him though a few breaths each one getting slower even if his breaths where jagged and harsh

"It'll hurt?" He asks 

"Oh god yes. People talk about drowning like it's quick. Like it's numb but... I can tell you first hand you're completely aware of what's happening. You're aware how deep, how long you have left, and how deathly cold you are. And every failed breath will struggle, every muscle will try desperate to keep you alive. And the cold doesn't make you go numb as you'd expect. It's more a shocking change that feels like someone stabbing a knife onto you everywhere. Sorry that's probably not helping"

"No... that helps" he says, readjusting his hands a little "grounds you sort of."

"Yeah I guess so."

"How do you know that?'

"...personal experience." 

"please just go. I don't want anyone to see me. And I don't want you to get in trouble"

"I don't care about that. All I care about is you. I'm not going anywhere I promise what's your name?"

"Son of mark, heir to the west elm estate and -" he began

"Your name not your title" I giggled

"T-thomas" he choked up a little

"Hi Thomas" I smiled

"Hi"

"I want you to do something very important for me Thomas. Tell me three things you can see"

"Uuhh... The railing."