for the love of god play nice
Dazai: SLIT YOUR WRISTS AND SPELL MY NAME
Fyodor: XOXO KISSES HUGS
Dazai: you literally forgot half of the lyrics you fat slut
Tachihara: oh-
Nikolai: DIE WITH ME ENJOY THE FAME
Dazai: ROLL THE DICE AND PLAY THE GAME
Tecchou: R-ROLL THE DICE AND PLAY THE GAME
Dazai: this is why you're better than flopdor and loseruno
Tecchou: so real bestie
Dazai: we should make a band
Jouno: i couldn't think of anything worse
Dazai: i'm not talking to you yuuji itadori
Jouno: who?
Dazai: im talking to my bae nikolai and my second bae tecchou and we are going to make a band
Tecchou: hell yeah besties
Dazai: i am literally gojo
Chuuya: someone stop his delusions he's literally going insane
Dazai: xoxo you can be my drummer bf and we can fall in love and get caught in a scandal that will tear us apart but eventually we will be end game and screaming your name through the radio
Poe: isn't that a fanfic?
Dazai: i dunno bro maybe
Sigma: Don't tell me you've never read a fanfiction. Even I have.
Dazai: i've read loads of fanfics! especially mha fanfics
Nikolai: oh lord
Kunikida: Even Nikolai knows that mha fanfictions are dog shit
Yosano: i've read a few bts fanfics
Kouyou: You look like a bts fanfics kinda gal
Yosano: what the fuck is that supposed to mean
Ranpo: i'm pretty sure poe has written spicy fanfics of us two... i've read them
Kyouka: Is he the author of the 5 doughnut smut?
Poe: the WHAT
Poe: absolutely NOT
Ranpo: WHY HAVE YOU READ THAT YOURE LIKE 14
Kyouka: ao3 is better
Dazai: have you read... anymore?
Kyouka: Kenji and I have read soukoku fics together
Kenji: It's how we bond!!
Fukuzawa: Am I going to have to block the internet in the office?
Ranpo: NO DON'T DO IT
Kunikida: Please do because maybe I can stop Dazai from searching "how to find a bomb" on my computer to put me on the FBI watchlist
Dazai: has it worked yet?
Kunikida: Does it look like it worked yet?
Dazai: i dunno man i didn't know you had a tattoo on your ass but apparently you do
Kunikida: LET IT GO
Dazai: NEVER
Atsushi: dazai is extra talkative today, what happened?
Chuuya: i told him to leave me alone and he said he will spam the groupchat if i kick him out
Chuuya: i kicked him out
Dazai: and now you will never hear the end of me
Kunikida: What about the time you sobbed because Chuuya left you on read for three days and you cried so hard you choked on your own spit and had to be taken to hospital for liquid in your lungs?
Tachihara: KUNIKIDA ON SMOKE
Yosano: i remember crying
Dazai: aww
Yosano: of laughter
Dazai: oh
Ranpo: that was the funniest part of that day, even after yosano sent her nudes to akutagawa because she thought it was kouyou
Kouyou: WHAT
Akutagawa: I am beyond traumatised
Yosano: RANPO SHUT UP
Kenji: Remember the time that Ranpo smacked Fukuzawa in the face for stealing his lollipop and got banished to the naughty step outside the office for two hours? :D
Teruko: nah what the fuck is wrong with you all
Jouno: don't act like you didn't cry like a baby because fukuchi took away your ipad
Nikolai: LMAO IPAD KID
Teruko: i'll KILL you
Nikolai: oop not without your cocomelon
Sigma: Honestly I'd share a funny experience with Nikolai and Fyodor but they're all harrowing memories that I would choose to replace if given a chance
Tachihara: that's so real bae
Gin: Remember when Higuchi saw BTS at a concert and pissed herself
Chuuya: surprised you didn't drink it
Gin: Shut up hat rack
Higuchi: LOOK I SAW MIN YOONGI AND I LOST CONTROL
Tachihara: LMAOOO
Akutagawa: Remember when Tachihara tried to flirt with Gin because he found out she had boobs and he instead decided to squeeze them and say "mommy milkies"
Poe: these are getting more and more unhinged
Tachihara: remember the time chuuya drunk all the wine at a business dinner and did gangnam style in front of a pair of crying kids who wanted to go home
Mori: Remember the time my little Elise wanted me to make a groupchat for the port mafia? I regret that now
Kajii: shut up pedo remember when you shat yourself because dazai laced your food with laxatives
Dazai: LMAOO I REMEMBER THAT
Chuuya: that was hilarious i'll admit
Mori: :(
Nikolai: i think we should name our band "triple psychos"
Tecchou: no it should be "pickled egg"
Dazai: you're both wrong it should be "three homosexual men walk into a bar"
Jouno: and then what?
Dazai: nothing. the joke is never continued
Elise: I hate gay people
Atsushi: WE KNOW
Yosano: WE KNOW
Ranpo: WE KNOW
YOU ARE READING
ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴏꜰ ɢᴏᴅ ᴘʟᴀʏ ɴɪᴄᴇ || ʙꜱᴅ
Fanfiction❝God you have failed me once again❞ ••• where fukuzawa makes a mistake and creates a groupchat between groups. available on AO3 ••• highest rankings: #1 in soukoku - 01/03/23 #1 in skk - 06/03/23 #1 in fyolai - 06/03/23 #1 in bsd - 14/03/23 #1 in ss...