Six Feet Under ➳ Rick Grimes

The cuts and the barn

I've been sitting in the grass for hours now, sobbing and heaving for air. "Janey? Janey!" I hear Shane shout. I wipe my eyes quickly and look up. "Yeah?" I say and smile.

"Don't play stupid, I just saw you sobbing out here? What's going on? What did he do?" He nearly shouts. "Who? Rick?! He didn't do anything!" I say and stand to grab his arm.

"Then why are you out here sobbing?" He asks and runs his hand over his newly shaved head. "I just...everything hit me, I guess." I lie.

"Everything?" He persists. "The end of the world, my boy being shot...everything." I leave out the pregnancy. "Janey, everything's going to be okay." He says and puts my hand in my shoulder. "No. And if you seriously believe everything's fine, you're an idiot." I spit.

"I'm sorry." I say and look at the ground. "It's okay, you're stressed. It's understandable." He says. I look behind him and see Rick pacing around outside the old barn.

"I gotta talk to him." I say and run through the field. "Rick...baby, what's wrong?" I say as he collapses completely. I kneel beside him as he lies in the grass, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"You're pregnant, janey. What the hell do you think is wrong?" He shouts. I look around, hoping no one heard. "What? You're scared they're going to find out? Well they have to." He hisses and he stands.

"Rick! Please!" I yell and he starts to stride through the grass to the camp. "Rick!" I shout, I feel tears prick my eyes again.

"Everybody!" Rick says and I grab his arm but he quickly shakes me off. "Janey is pregnant." He announces and I hear Carol drop something, Daryl makes a 'tsk' noise and walks away angrily. Shane looks at me as if he's hurt and his eyes are wide. T runs his hands over his head and Glenn looks at the ground.

"I-I'm sorry." I squeak and walk towards the house. When I get to the deck, I see Carl standing at the door. "Why aren't you in bed?" I ask, wiping my eyes. "You're pregnant?" He cocks his head. I look at him awestruck. "How could you...why mom?" He stutters and I cover my mouth.

"Carl I'm so sorry." I say and kneel before him. I take his hands in mine. "Carl baby, I'm sorry. I was being irresponsible and I've been a terrible guardian to you." I plead for his forgiveness, his is the only opinion that matters to me.

I see tears strike his eyes and he pulls his hands from mine. "Carl!" I yell and he storms into the house. I fall backward and sob in a crouch position. I look behind me and see everyone staring at me.

"Hershel! Can I borrow a horse?" I ask through the door and he allows me. I walk into the horse barn and saddle a horse. I used to ride them all the time, so I remember how to do it.

I get on it and they look at me with confusion. I wipe my eyes and begin to ride the horse.

I rode it into the little town and breathe as steadily as possible.

Ricks P.O.V

My head spins as Janey rides off on the horse. I run my hands through my hair and walk inside. "Carl?" I ask and he looks up at me. "Don't be angry at her, it's not her fault." I say and shake my head.

"Then who's is it?" He asks, he's so young and unknowing. "It's no ones fault, birth is a wonderful thing...youre gonna have a baby sibling." I say and sit beside him.

I have to convince myself that this is okay and that we'll be okay. "Dad, do you love her?" Carl asks and my eyes widen. "I love her in a sister kind of way." I say. "No, I think you love her in a wife way." He says and I roll my eyes with a smile. "I do like her Carl. But I wouldn't say love." I say and ruffle his hair.