saudade [Bakugou K. X reader] [Book two]

[T H I R T Y - F O U R]

[Song recommendation: Brooklyn Baby --- Lana Del Rey]

[Warning: more hurt/comfort (its my favorite dynamic leave me alone) angst with a happy ending]

[Chapter Thirty-Four]

My body was shaking. It felt almost as if I were living in a fever dream, and I wish that I were. I wished that this was only another illusion brought on by Kimina Rin's quirk. I wish that none of this was real.

But it was. My worst fear was coming true. Was it my fault? I decided to follow them in the first place. I chose to come to their world. I got involved in things that should have never concerned me in the first place. I found answers to things that were never supposed to be found.

I never asked to be stuck with these damn quirks. Just a year ago, I was just a smart kid on the way to doing great things in my world. I was going to go to college and get a degree in nanotechnology engineering. I was going to create things that would help people. I was just some kid who devoted her time to helping others. I was just some kid who enjoyed playing pranks by leaving puzzles for my family to solve.

I was just some kid.

I grieved over the child that I could have been. I grieved over the life that I lost. I grieved over the loss of my childhood. I wanted nothing more than to go back to that time. I wanted to go home.

But...I knew. I knew that even if I could go back, I wouldn't belong there anymore. They altered everything to make sure that I wouldn't belong anywhere but here. I wouldn't belong anywhere unless I was here.

I hated it. I hated this life. I hated myself for agreeing in the first place. I hated that I was the one this fucking quirk chose. Why couldn't it have skipped over me? Why couldn't it have just died along with Mila?

I suppose that some children are simply born with tragedy in their blood. I just so happened to fall to be one of those children. It just wasn't fair. Children shouldn't be cursed with things as trivial as this. Things as dangerous as this.

I wanted to go home. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to hurt people. I didn't want to fight. I wasn't a fighter, nor was I a lover. I wasn't a pacifist. I didn't care what happened around me as long as it didn't involve me.

I felt as if I were Atlas, doomed for eternity holding up the world. Why wouldn't I? The fate of this entire universe was balanced on my shoulders. It was my responsibility to find out who posed the biggest threat. It was my job to eliminate any possibility of them wreaking havoc ever again.

It was my technology that aided the heroes. It was my AI that led them to clues they would have never figured out alone. It was my quirk that stopped the destruction of two dimensions. I was the one who realized what was happening. I'm the one who prevented mass genocide. If it wasn't for me, trillions of people would be dead.