Wasted Chances

38

Donny's POV

"Can we be honest to each other even just for tonight Shar? As in really honest?" sabi ko kay while we are drinking our beer.

Shar and I went to our other inuman venue na mas maliit kesa Lyca and hindi masyado marami tao. And fate must be in my side, solo namin yong place today.

"Ano ibig mo sabihin kuya?"

"Diba sabi ko wala muna kuya tonight?"

"Ok, what do you mean Donato?"

"Better. Thanks! My first name sounds good kapag galing sayo."

"Geezz, ano ba nangyayari sayo? Putsa, 2 beer pa lang naiinom mo, corny mo."

"Can we pretend that we are an item tonight? That we are a couple?"

"No." She answered, straightforward, no blinking.

"Actually expected ko na yan sagot mo, I just try my luck." Sabi ko na nakatingin sa mata nya.

Alam ko nakita nya yong lungkot ko kasi parang natigilan sya nong marinig nya sagot ko.

Sinubukan ko hawakan kamay nya and salamat sa Lord, hinayaan nya ako.

"Don't get me wrong kuya. I mean Donny, its just that, you have a girlfriend and we are technically cheating on her kung gagawin natin yon. And for Pete's sake, kaibigan ko yong girlfriend mo."

"Naintindihan ko, don't be upset. The Shar I know, hindi talaga papayag yon. Now, balik sa tanong ko, can we be honest sa sarili natin kahit ngayon lang?"

"Ok, shoot!" Aniya na humarap sakin. Magkatabi kasi ang pwesto namin.

"Do you still love me? Or have you really loved me?" Tanong ko habang hawak pa rin ang kamay nya, this time dalawang kamay na and still hinayaan nya.

"Where is this leading to? And how sure are you na may feelings ako for you? The way you delivered it, sure na sure ka eh."sarcastic nyang sagot.

"You agreed to be honest remember? I just want to hear it from you. I just want to know how it feels like kapag narinig ko sayo. And lastly, I want to ask you why?"

"What's the point? Committed ka na. Will it bring any difference? Don't answer that pala, kasi wala dapat magbabago, walang mababago. If my answer is yes, may masasaktan na iba."

"So, is it a yes or a no?"

Natigilan si Shar. Ilang beses sya huminga ng malalim at umiwas ng tingin sakin.

"Nasabi ko na sayo ito noon, na kaya kinuya agad kita kasi natakot na ako sa sarili ko. The very moment na nagkausap tayo solo sa library, on that 1st day of school, ang lakas na ng tama ko sayo." Simula nya pero hindi sya nakatingin sakin while saying those.

I let go of her hand, cupped her face with my both hands and made her look me in the eyes.

She was teary eyed already, her lips are trembling as well, ang init ng mukha nya and again kasing kulay ng hinog na kamatis.

"Tingin ka sakin please while confessing your feelings para naman mas ramdam ko." Sabi ko while a smile is playing on my lips. Which turns out, wrong move, nawala kasi yong momentum.

"Tangna kasi, bakit ako ang nagcoconfess? Ikaw mauna. Gusto mo ito diba?" Asik nya at tinanggal pa ang kamay ko sa mukha nya.

Ang bobo mo Donato! Natatawang sabi ko sa sarili ko.

"Ok, game!" Sabi ko at hinawakan ko ulit kamay nya.

"On that day sa library, nakuha mo attention ko. You were the first girl na hindi na nagpapansin sakin, kinuya pa ako. I found you fascinating. I liked you being boyish yet childish. And you are not just a beauty dear, beauty and brains ka. Ang galing mo makisama." Simula ko.