hurtfics | le sserafim & ive ✔

le sserafim › thick & thin (pt. one) (requested)

TRIGGER WARNING:
[ attempted suicide ]

♥︎

Everything was loud. Yet somehow it all felt like white noise. In one ear and out the other, but you were constantly being reminded of every insult, every word, every character that was thrown at you like a dagger. Straight to the heart.

For days now, ever since a comeback stage that you and the members did, you've been receiving tons of messages on social media picking you apart until you were left with nothing but heartache. During the stage under fire, you had made quite a few mistakes, you admit that, but they were because you were tired and feeling unwell on that day. But people on the internet never fail to rip someone to shreds, even when they don't have the full story. And you feel awful that you messed up the stage so badly, and at first you chose to believe that the hate was over the top; unnecessary. The girls reassured you of that. But now? Your mindset has changed.

Everyone online is right. You're losing your touch, and it's only been a year and some change since you debuted. You're a horrible dancer. A horrible singer. Boring to watch on stage. Lackluster personality. Nobody would care if you were to disappear. That was one of the most prominent messages that you've been receiving lately.

So why not fulfill their wishes? You've been thinking about it for the last few days. The girls were beginning to worry, as there's been a noticeable shift in your demeanor. You've lately been coming across as more reserved and seemingly drained of energy. Your reason for this is because what's the point in exerting your energy if it's not going to matter in a matter of mere minutes from now?

You had just locked yourself in the bathroom. Your trembling hands fumbled with the childproof lid on the bottle of pills for a few moments, before eventually getting them open.

Just moments later, you had already consumed several. Ten to be exact. Your stomach had begun to ache, as did your throat. Tears of fear were rolling down your cheeks rapidly. You're scared. You don't want to die, but at the same time, you do.

As you slowly swallowed a few more, quickly reaching the lethal limit, you thought about the girls.

Your eyes widened. You can't do this. You're too scared.

You quickly threw the bottle at the wall and began to sob loudly, ignoring the loud crash the object made. You fell back onto the cold tile floor, crying your heart out.

How could you have thought that this was the right solution? In the end, you couldn't do it.

But you were now starting to feel lightheaded.

Just then, someone knocked on the door. "Yoonah!? Are you okay in there, Yoonah?" It was Sakura. She sounded worried, anxious.

"Unnie!" You cried out.

You dragged yourself to the door and managed to unlock it. As soon as you did, you moved out of the way as the door swung open and she and Eunchae ran in.

The moment that they saw you lying on the floor, cheeks soaked with tears, and then the spilled pill bottle, their hearts dropped. Instantly, a pit was formed in their stomachs.

Please, God, no, Sakura thought to herself.

She was quick to drop to her knees and pull you into her arms, crying with you. Eunchae didn't hesitate to join the two of you, also crying now.

"Yoonah, what did you do?! What did you do?!" Eunchae asked. Her voice cracked, and it was filled with so much pain and sorrow that it only served to make you cry harder. Your reaction was enough for them.

"My baby, my baby, no," Sakura whispered, rocking you back and forth while crying loudly. When she pulled away a few seconds later, she looked up at Eunchae. "Maknae, listen- listen to me. I n-need you to call for an ambulance, now," she ordered, biting her lip afterwards to muffle the sob that threatened to slip out.

Eunchae immediately nodded and pulled out her phone, dialing 911.

You held onto Sakura tighter as a wave of nausea hit you. You gagged once. The eldest noticed. With wide eyes, she lifted your body and rushed you to the toilet, where you proceeded to empty your already empty stomach.

Due to all of the commotion-the three of you crying, Eunchae desperately asking for an ambulance, and Sakura trying to soothe you as you leaned over the toilet-Kazuha, Yunjin, and Chaewon came running to the bathroom. Upon seeing the sight, they were instantly overcome with worry.

"What the hell happened?" Yunjin questioned.

Sakura sniffled and looked over at them as she continued to rub your back. "She-" She paused to sob. "O-Our baby... I think- I-I think she- she tried to take her own life!" She cried, hugging you tightly afterwards.

Kazuha, Chaewon, and Yunjin's eyes widened, just as Sakura's and Eunchae's did only a few minutes prior.

"No!" Chaewon exclaimed. They were all quickly brought to tears.

But they were all taken by surprise when you suddenly went limp in Sakura's hold.