itzy oneshots

you x yeji : breakup

published october 2, 2023. 6008 words
au
please take your time and read this slowly ‼️
this is on the sad side
second person pov.

As you lay beside your girlfriend in bed, you knew that tomorrow marked the day you both were going to break up.

For a while now, Yeji had slowly drifted away, despite the fact that you both lived in the same home.

Her days were now cloaked in silence, her indifference palpable in your presence. She still did the house chores effortlessly, yet she seemed to purposely overlook your presence. Instead of engaging in your warmth in bed, she found solace in her phone, casting aside cuddling with you and usual conversation.

She just didn't like your company anymore, it seemed like.

Because she would move away when you tried touching her, she would be dry when you would try and talk to her, and she wouldn't compliment you anymore, kiss you anymore, love and obsess over you anymore, and she wouldn't even try to look at you.

But you would look at her. You would obsess over her. You would visualize kissing her, tracing back to the most intimate moments. You would still compliment her. And you would still tell her you loved her.

Yet, soon enough, it wouldn't be of your troubles anymore when she was out of your life.

You curiously turned your head toward her, subtly wanting to catch a glimpse of the messages exchanged with the person she was texting in your peripheral vision.

But it didn't matter anyway. The angle she held her phone at didn't give you a good view. And she still adjusted it from giving you a view at all, bothered by how nosy you appeared.

Immediately, you pursed your lips, twisting your neck to face the other way. Then, you decided to just turn your whole back to her, gathering the sharp feel in your throat, inching closer to crying.

You wanted to tell her how much you loved her so badly. You wanted to be embraced by her while you told her about your day. You wanted to kiss her lovely lips, the ones that perfectly matched with yours. You wanted to at least be closer next to her in bed.

But you couldn't, you shouldn't, and you can't.

Just thinking about it stacked the pain on top of the pain.

And eventually, the tears that were held captive inside finally fought out, breaking free and escaping your eye sockets.

You silently cried, lifting up your shared blanket to conceal your face, and to let the droplets seep into its fabric, ultimately accepting it.

At the same time, you spoke in your head, saying the words you wish you could have found yourself saying out loud to her.

I love you so much, Yeji. I love you, I love you, I love you so much; I want you to always know that. And I'm so sorry I couldn't be better for you. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you. I'm sorry for messing it all up. I don't know what I did to make you be like this, but I still feel so bad. I know you won't ever forgive me, I know how you are, baby, but I know that you would, deep down, in another life, when I'd be a better girlfriend for you. You already moved on, yet I still can't fathom that everything just suddenly went wrong. I think it's my fault, and you don't seem to care if I try and beg for answers, how I try to improve for you. You know I've always wanted to be the best for you, but it seems like I just can't, Yeji. I wish you supported me through everything like you said you would, how you would hold my hand, and guide me through everything. I wish you told me the truth, and everything you thought went wrong. I would change anything just for you. I miss us so much, and I miss you already, Yeji. I love you so, so much, my once perfect, beautiful girlfriend.