Heartstopper x Young Royals

Part 16 - You did it again, right?

TW ED SH

Pov Charlie
We were out and about with Wille and Simon all day today. I think Nick is beginning to suspect something, he made such a worried face every time I didn't want to eat today. Actually understandable, I only ate very little piece pizza today and actually drank far too little. On top of that, my sleeve slipped back so far that you could see my fresh scars right in front of Nick's eyes. And yes, fresh, I've started hurting myself again and I'm not proud of it at all. It just sort of helps me deal with all the stress. And actually I want to stop doing it again, but I can't.

We are now at home and eat something again, not me, but the others. "Can you get by on your own for a moment?" Nick looks questioningly at Simon and Wilhelm. What does he want? Does he want to talk to me? "Come" he takes my hand and walks up with me to my room. After closing the door, he comes towards me. "Are you doing well?" "W...why?" "May I?" he looks at me, then at my arm. I nod for whatever reason. Actually, my mind tells me that Nick shouldn't see it, but I was secretly hoping that he would notice.

He pulls up my sleeve and looks at my scars. "They don't look like you've had them for a long time" "I... I'm sorry" "What? Why are you sorry?" "I should have told you earlier... I should have... you..." "Take it easy" he carefully places his hands on my shoulders. "I would have liked to know the first time, yes, but you didn't tell me and that's okay too" he grins. "At some point I would be happy if you would tell me" "I... thank you" I smile briefly. Nick hugs me. "Can I ask you something else?" "Yeah" "Could... could it be that you don't like to eat or something like that? You've been eating very little lately and I'm starting to get really worried" fuck, what can I say now? "Char?"

"I... it's complicated" he slowly lets go of me. "Then explain it to me, I'll try to understand it too, I promise." We sat down together on my bed. "So umm" he puts his hand on my leg reassuringly. "When... when the bullying was so bad... I... I didn't eat for a long time sometimes because I wanted to at least control that... but it got better, really." Nick pulls me into a hug. "But now it's worse again?" I nod. "I don't know why but I kind of feel like I need to control it again, it probably doesn't sound logical to you but it all makes sense in my head" "No no, it..." he pauses. "It makes sense... did I do something wrong?" "What? No! No, absolutely not. You're great and there's no place where I'm doing better than when I'm with you" I smile.

Pov Nick
I'm sitting in Charlie's room and waiting for him. He just wanted to go to the bathroom to get changed. Simon and Wille went out for a moment, I think they wanted to go for a walk or something. It's been a few days since Charlie told me a bit about his mental health issues and we haven't really talked about it anymore. The only thing I've really done is that every time he needs to eat something, I've taken him to a place where there aren't many people, so that he feels somehow more comfortable.

I lie down on his bed. He should be done by now. But why isn't he coming? What if something happened? I think I'd better go take a look. Thought done, I get up and go towards the bathroom. When I get there, I knock on the door. "Char?" No Answer. "Everything's ok?" still silence. "N...Nick?" he doesn't sound like he's doing well. "What's up?" I ask, startled. "Can you come in for a moment?" "Yes, of course" I hear Charlie unlock the door and carefully open it. After I went in, he locks it again immediately. "What's up?" I ask worried. "I" he hesitates. My gaze wanders around the room, after a short time I discover the blood-smeared blade on the floor. "You did it again, right?"