Heaven's So Far Away - A Sam Winchester X Female Reader Fic

Chapter 4

Sam's POV

...I panicked.

I mean...what the hell was I supposed to do? What was I supposed to say?

"Yeah, I know her, Dean. She's actually the love of my life, and I was gonna propose to her before you just popped back into my life, so I had to break her heart just so I could come with you."

Or maybe...

"Yeah...she's an ex-girlfriend of mine. How've you been, Y/N? How's that trauma working out for ya?"

I had both Y/N and Dean glaring at my face, demanding answers...and my brain was so scrambled from the fact we were even interacting right now, after all this time...and my heart was going a mile a minute.

I can handle the pressure of having the fate of the world in my hands...to an extent at least.

But this kind of pressure? Not a fucking clue.

I had maybe thirty seconds to think of something to say...something that would be the lesser of all evils....so that's what I came up with...pretending I didn't remember. If I were her, I would've forgotten about me long ago, so I just thought maybe it would level the playing field, and maybe it would be the easiest way to work around everything with Dean right there.

But given her reaction...her beautiful face twisting up in hurt and confusion as she backed away from my outstretched hand...I knew right away just how badly I'd fucked up....again.

In hindsight...maybe a simple "Yeah, we do...it's very good to see you again, Y/N." would've sufficed for the time being...

God, you're a fucking idiot, Sam.

Loving her was the easiest thing I've ever had to do....leaving her was the hardest. But after all I'd endured over the past seven years...losing my father and my brother (for a bit), coming face to face with celestial beings and cosmic entities, learning dark things about myself, and getting fully engulfed by the stress of the job...

I guess I forgot what "easy" felt like...so naturally, I just had to go and make this interaction a million times harder for myself. Conflict and struggle was all I really knew how to deal with now.

I wanted to just drop the pretense right here and now...say something along the lines of "I'm sorry...I have no clue why I just said that. Of course I remember."...but it was too late. I'd already blurted out the words, and I knew I couldn't take them back.

Not without fully losing my composure and forgetting about the case entirely.

Anyone with a working set of eyes could clearly see the tension condensing between her and I like a thick, heavy fog...and I felt Dean awkwardly shift beside me as he witnessed it, and he cleared his throat, thankfully trying to redirect the conversation from here.

"So...is there a place where we can discuss the case privately, Doctor?" he asked gently.

Y/N was silent for a moment, and it honestly looked like she was debating between hightailing it out of the building...or murdering me where I stood.

But then she seemed to compose herself for the most part, probably grasping that there was a much more pressing matter at hand, and she refocused her attention on Dean.

"Yes, we can discuss it in my office." she spoke lowly through gritted teeth.

With that, she stormed on ahead of us down the hall, and Dean and I turned to follow her, although he reached out to grip my arm, encouraging me to slow my pace so we could keep a fair distance between her and us.