Heaven's So Far Away - A Sam Winchester X Female Reader Fic

Chapter 35

Y/N 's POV

"Is there any way in hell I could convince you to let me come with you?" I groaned at Sam, crossing my arms over my chest after flinging my bag up over my shoulder.

"No. There's not." he stated firmly, shaking his head as he reached over, opening the van door for me.

Now that Brady had been dealt with and the boys had Pestilence's location in hand...they weren't pausing to celebrate our small victory for a single moment. They were gearing up to get out on the road...put a stop to him and get the ring now.

I thought after Sam and I had accomplished our first kill together, and he'd seen how I handle major situations like that...he'd reconsider keeping me benched for the remainder of the horseman nonsense....but apparently that wasn't the case.

He's found a new respect for the person I am now...he's made that apparent. But the need to keep me completely out of harm's way just outweighs that respect a little too much. So while he and Dean are setting their sights on Pestilence...he told me to take the van and head back to Bobby's...do some studying and start tracking down Lucifer...see what we can come up with now that we have new information about the rings.

Of course I started to protest...but inevitably I decided to comply and drop the argument. It's the eleventh hour...and while I know I'm good, I know I would only be a hindrance in something that requires their full focus. Sam and Dean have a method to their madness when they're together....and my madness is notably unhinged, given my track record.

So here we stand now...Dean loading up the Impala and hopping in the driver's seat...and me, saying my goodbyes to Sam yet again.

"I don't even know what I'm supposed to do now, if I'm being honest." I sighed, leaning against the side of the van as I gazed up at him solemnly.

"I know you want to help with the 'hack n' slash'...but coming up with a well-thought out plan is more crucial than ever. We need to figure out how the rings open the box exactly...and you and Bobby are the brightest minds we have on the team." he encouraged.

"About time you admitted it." I jabbed playfully, and he scoffed and rolled his eyes, a small smile lifting the corners of his lips.

"Don't let it get to your head." he grumbled.

We both shared a small laugh over that, before the gravity of where we stand now began to weigh down on us, and our laughter fizzled out like a smothered flame.

"Just....just be vigilant...okay? I mean... this is disease and sickness incarnate...who knows what kinds of twisted shit he can pull." I murmured, glancing up at him pleadingly.

He nodded softly. "I know. But...we took out War and Famine....we can do this too." he assured me...though by his tone of voice, it almost seemed as if he was trying to reassure himself more. He parted his lips as if he were going to continue, but then he closed them once again, letting his eyes drop to the ground between us.

"What is it, Sam?" I asked curiously, raising a brow.

He shook his head, staying silent for a moment before he finally met my gaze once again. "I just...I want you to know that I'm going to do whatever it takes...to stop this. I know I've fucked up...a thousand times over...and every time I think I'm doing something right, I just get reminded of how much of a mess I've made of things. I get reminded of how much pain I've caused....especially to you. And...I'm not resting until I finally set things right. No matter how I gotta do it."