Heaven's So Far Away - A Sam Winchester X Female Reader Fic

Chapter 33

Dean's POV

Talk about the worst drive of my fucking life.

It's no wonder Crowley got his demonic start as a salesman.... because he would not shut the fuck up.

I don't know if this was some pisspoor attempt at him trying to lighten the mood or what...but my blood pressure was through the roof. I'm pretty sure the palms of my hands were permanently indented from how tightly I was gripping the steering wheel.

Just going on and on and on about stuff he's seen in Hell, his fling with some angel in Mesopotamia a few millennia ago, he even started playing classical music at full blast on the radio. I didn't know who I wanted to shoot more...him or myself.

But as aggravating as it was....I am grateful for it, deep down. It prevented me from thinking too heavily on everything.

I just....I don't even know where things stand right now.

I expected pushback about my decision to follow Crowley in his search for Pestilence's "stable boy". I got some, yeah...but I was expecting so much more.

Not just from Sam...but from Y/N too.

When I told her about Crowley and his request over the phone, she was absolutely livid. If there wasn't more pressing matters at hand, I'm sure she would've reached through the phone somehow and choked me out.

So why did she change her mind?

I mean...don't get me wrong, I'm glad she did...I know I need to do this. I need to take this lead and run with it, because right now it's all we got, and the apocalypse isn't gonna stop while Bobby and I attempt to play Dr. Phil for those two.

But it just kinda rubbed me the wrong way how she just....flipped the script. I couldn't figure it out.

Maybe she honestly just wanted alone time with Sam...time to process through everything that had happened...explain herself and go over it all. Which is absolutely understandable. A little juvenile in the grand scheme of things....but understandable nonetheless.

Maybe she just stopped and truly thought about the bigger picture, and once her initial rage settled she saw my decision for what it was...the only choice we have.

I don't know. But whatever the reason...she convinced Sam to take a knee...and here I am....with Crowley riding copilot.

I know it's what I needed to do, but I felt absolutely dirty about it. Having the King of Hell in my brother's seat while I go prepare to face off against a really big player...of course I felt like I needed a fucking shower.

It also felt wrong just leaving things like that....Y/N beside herself, Sam looking at me with the sting of betrayal lingering in his eyes...not knowing whether or not I was gonna come home and find them fighting with each other, armed to teeth....or if I was gonna come home to find one of them gone, god forbid.

It was all so much...so heavy on all of us...not just them. Especially me....because I know my choices have caused a lot of grief between them...between them and myself. That's something I'm gonna be carrying with me for a while.

But...I needed to refocus on the task at hand. If I get too dazed and lost in it all, I could very easily get myself killed here, and I don't have any backup besides this british douchewad that I don't trust as far as I can throw.

So while I wanted to drive the demon knife straight into his eye socket to get the talking and singing to stop...it was a nice distraction from all the heavy shit swirling around in my head.