Heaven's So Far Away - A Sam Winchester X Female Reader Fic

***Chapter 32***

(Warning: Graphic smut in this chapter. Roughness, and high emotions. Reader discretion is advised!)

Sam's POV

After that entire confrontation...emotions were all incredibly high...to the point none of us could really bare it anymore.

Happy ones...sad ones...relieved ones...angry ones. 

I was still reeling about the fact Y/N would actually be learning to hunt with us any day now. But...I felt a little lighter about it than I did before.

Her argument had a lot of valid points...and after listening to it all...I realized I was dwelling a little more about what I want than what she wants. If I could condense the entire thing into a single bottom line...she wants to stay with me, and she wants me to let her handle that in the only way she knows how. She wants me to let her change and adapt, instead of trying to keep her the woman she once was....even though I'm nowhere close to the man I once was.

How can I blame her for that? How can I blame her for hunting like that when she truly didn't know the safe and smart way to go about it?

I wasn't happy about it....but I knew there had to be give on my part too. I owed her that much, at least. Besides...above all else...I'm just so fucking happy she's home. 

She's definitely changed...I can see that. She's not timid anymore...she's angrier. In the time we've been apart her muscle definition is more obvious, and she's got a look in her eye that could send anyone running for cover. She's dangerous now...she's lethal. She's not one to take shit anymore....not mine, nor anybody's. If she left to toughen up her skin....she clearly did just that. 

I told her that her punishment would be coming clean to Bobby...because I knew he had the strength I didn't have, to put her in her place...give her the business about how fucking risky all that was.

Come to find out...she dished out exactly what she took. I don't think I've ever seen someone counteract one of Bobby's lectures before. At one point, I didn't know who was punishing who.

That....was pretty hot, not gonna lie.

But anyway...when all was said and done and we had our moment of peace and hugs and happy tears...she went back up to her room. No one's been in it since she left...I insisted no one touches it in case she ever came back. I didn't even touch it....I didn't want to sleep in it without her. 

We all kinda went our separate ways for a while, just to breathe and clear our heads...let the dust from the never-ending desert storm finally begin to settle. 

I was sitting on the daybed in the study, working away on my laptop trying to find some sort of easy case to start her off with. I was looking for anything vamp-y, specifically. That, I think I could manage. It's simple...decapitation. Dean and I can handle a large vamp nest in our sleep at this point...it would be easy for her to get the feel of how to work a case, and it would be relatively easy to step in if she needs us to.

I honestly felt stupid for combing through the internet to search for something that small when there is much bigger shit going on...but I'm trying to be understanding here. I'm trying to help, and allow her to do what she needs to do. Teach her the things that need to be taught. Anything that makes her feel stable enough, so she never leaves again. 

Anything.

Just as I pulled up a news article that looked promising, Dean walked through the door and stepped into the study, drawing my attention away from the screen.

"Hey." he mumbled awkwardly, wiping his oil-stained hands off on an old rag as he glanced at me.

"Hey." I greeted back. "Everything good with the car?"