Pavane for a Lost Boy (Or Rather, How to Survive Loss after Rejection)

Chapter Eleven

"I'm so glad that you guys could come to my barbeque."

That was the first thing that left the mouth of Ryan "All-American Golden Boy" Peavey's mouth upon my arrival with Holly, her boyfriend Derrick, and my foster brothers after a five-minute walk down the street. And while everyone else was dressed for a Hawaiian-style luau with short-shorts and tank-tops that covered their swimwear, I was feeling self-conscious in my simple outfit of Levi's jeans and a plain shirt. Add the fact that Ryan was grinning at me like he was lost in la-la land and I was definitely feeling like I never belonged here in the first place.

All the more reason that I wished that I had you aborted, Mom's voice sneered in my head. No matter how hard you try, you'll never be enough for anyone. You disgust me.

"All you all right, dear?" Mrs. Peavy, who was the epitome of a former beauty queen that kept her looks despite being in her forties, asked me as she saw my look of worry.

I blinked twice, snapping out of my toxic reverie. "Yes, ma'am," I replied. "It's the vocie of my late mother who keeps telling me that I shouldn't be here."

And I really shouldn't have come in the first place. This was all a mistake from the-

"Don't let that woman's words get you down, boy," Mr. Peavy, a heavyset man with a stern stare, said harshly. "Joel and Taylor told my wife and myself about your late family and how you were unfairly treated by them. They didn't deserve a stellar kid like yourself anyhow."

I sighed, fighting to ease my rattled nerves. "Sir, I wished I could believe that, but who needs enemies with a family like mine? I considered myself lucky to be even alive after everything," I confessed. "But I want to at least try and begin living life."

"And you will," Antonio said to me, giving me a knowing stare. "And this barbeque will be the start of just that."

"So it will," Ryan crowed as he extended his hand towards me. "Shall we?"

Say no, Demario. Say no and do what I wish for you, Mom's voice intoned in my head. End your life while you have the chance. Grant my final wish.

I took a deep breath and took my hand into his. "We shall," I said firmly as I let Ryan lead me through his mini-mansion right to the large backyard where the action was.

Sorry, Mom. Tonight is when I plan to have some fun, even if it's for one day.

***********

For kids of my caliber, a teenager's debut at a house party or barbeque (supervised or no) can go either one or two ways. It can spell disaster if one's unprepared and has no clue about the etiquette (or is somehow led into a dark web of underage drinking and drug usage). Or it can go smooth sailing if one has enough experience thanks to all the teen movies that he or she watches beforehand.

In my situation, everyone seemed to know my name and I somehow got the better end of the stick with almost everyone inviting me over for after-school outings, open auditions for sports and extracurricular clubs, or even dinners with them and their families. A few of them even gave me their phone numbers in case I wanted to chat or lend them an ear.

And in a way, it was nice to actually have some kind of positive feedback about my upbringing and me  the Lomax family since they were well-liked by everyone.

"It's kind of sad how your parents and siblings tossed you aside like that, kid. And those relatives never gave you a fair shake in life, either. It's their loss since the Lomax folks can take good care of you."

"That late family of yours sounds like they belong in hell, kid. You're a warrior for coming out of the fire like that.  They got what they deserve for abandoning you and treating you like trash."