Pavane for a Lost Boy (Or Rather, How to Survive Loss after Rejection)

Chapter Fifty

"No effin' way," were the first words that left the mouths out of everyone during group therapy (guest starring Jose, Gianna, and even Dr. Nguyen himself) after I recapped to everyone what had happened since the night of the party with Ryan and Oliver, Artem returning to PGHS, and my encounter with Aunt Denise and her husband. Not only that, I decided that it was time to reveal to everyone about me being a product of my mother's love affairs and why it was the real reason why my birth family hated me and wished me dead for almost all of my life. Needless to say, everyone was gagging over me being a love child over everything else in my soap-opera life.

"I can't believe that your mom hated you because she was having an affair with an unknown guy," Callie breathed. "That's just...wow."

"This is some fucked-up shit," Ja'Marcus commented, sipping on his cup of soda. "If that happened to me, my granddad would've definitely beat the shit out of my momma, if not have her disowned."

"Did your aunt give you any more details about your mom's affairs?" Khadijah wanted to know.

I sighed heavily, nodding slowly. "I reread my mother's final letter to Aunt Denise that night after I came out of that shock," I replied. "For what I know, Mom and Dad were having some financial problems and they were needing to keep away from each other. Surprisingly enough, they were separated as often as they had multiple lovers on the side with both of them in open relationships."

"Ay, Dios mio," Ciara gasped, crossing herself.

I nodded. "Yeah, tell me about it. Anyway, during the separation period when they were fighting, my brothers were two years old before I was born. At one point, Mom was having her recurrent affairs with a guy whom she liked yet was in the closet during the late 90s or whatever. Despite Grandma Lottie's severe protests, Mom kept sleeping around with this mystery guy until she decided to get back with her husband. But by then, she was pregnant with me. Mom wanted an abortion because Dad didn't want a child that wasn't his, but Grandma Lottie wasn't having it, threatening to finally disown her oldest daughter if she did. So Mom stuck it out and made everyone turn against me- her siblings and in-laws and all her loyal friends- while making sure that I wasn't to live a charmed life at all. Mom wrote that she would make sure that I would not be acknowledged as a real member of the Bader-Simmons-Ingram family name at all costs.  She even planned to have Uncle Carl arrange a hitman when I turned 18. But that part went unfulfilled when things went to shit and decided that leaving me on the streets was a better alternative."

"Right, as if being orphaned and homeless beats paying somebody to have you killed," Callie said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "What the hell, Demario?"

"I'm a little miffed at this revelation myself," Mitch commented, his eyes alongside those of his brother's narrowing in silts. "Demario, how are you really holding up after learning about all of this?"

I looked into the older man's eyes. "Honestly...I don't know how to exactly feel," I replied. "Am I bitter that everything that I hoped to gain by doing right was all for nothing? Yeah. Am I tired of all the secrets and lies? No question. I'm all these emotions and so much more that it's not even funny anymore. I already have to deal with Ryan's lovey-dovey wooing and Theo being out for my demise. Now this just happened to fall on my lap. I'm a love child who was hated for being one all around. How else am I supposed to feel?"

Like you ain't worth shit, the nagging voice of my mother returning in her venomous glory echoing in my mind. I warned you that this day would come and now you're going to see why you're not wanted at all. You despise me.

"Demario?"

I snapped out of her words, staring into the concerned stares of everyone in the room. "Yeah?" I said, my voice croaking a bit.