Pavane for a Lost Boy (Or Rather, How to Survive Loss after Rejection)

Chapter Fifty-Eight

The rest of the week flew by without warning and it was time for me to attend group therapy. Needless to say, the warm reception that I received (sans Theo since he was now kicked out of the group) was one I didn't expect since my meltdown a week ago. But what caught me off-guard was how Theo's now-disbanded Goth gang was all dressed in normal clothes and giving me hugs and smiles. "It's all because of Artem giving us that reality check," one female member (a gymnast who lost her parents to a car wreck and was suffering from sexual abuse from her cousin) commented. "We were lost in hating you when we were only hurting ourselves for letting Blake poison our minds."

"I'm still not over how he outed your secret like that," the dark-skinned male ex-Goth member (a Jamaican native who was suffering from schizophrenia) replied. "Dude, my mum would have my arse thrown out on the street if I pulled anything like that."

It was a little unnerving, yet it felt like I was finally ready to be more open.

After helping ourselves to some snacks and opening up with the Serenity prayer and other business, the main topic for me was one that felt overdue: Lottie Mae Ingram. I took a deep breath as I stepped forward to the front, grateful for Mitch's approving smile before I dove right in. "You guys, you know that I virtually had no support in my household when it came to my bass-ackwards and belly-up family other than my former landlord and his family alongside all the tenants who were under my mother's harsh hand," I said. "But the one woman who actually gave me the love and support was one who left this world way too soon: my late maternal grandmother Lottie Mae Ingram."

"What was she like?" Ciara wanted to know.

I smiled faintly. "She was a no-nonsense, God-fearing woman who loved everyone yet was the subject of her children's hatred since she believed in living a simple life. She and her late husband Roger Ingram, who died before I was born, did everything that they could to teach their children to love, but my mother and her siblings all loved the hip-hop values and wanting to live life in the fast lane. So when I came into this world and was the subject of abuse, she did all she could to make my world a brighter place- taking me to trips to see movies, the zoo, and even instilled some culture by taking me to operas and stage plays. She was even the one who began my love for playing the music and my other hobbies that my mother despised and wanted to snuff out of me. It was because of her that I allowed myself to survive as long as I could in that prison that was my apartment...

FLASHBACK (Demario in eighth grade)...

"Demario, baby, this family doesn't know how good they have it when it comes to you," Mama Lottie said in anger as she helped me washed my laundry after my older brothers wrecked it with some of the barbecue sauce from the Labor Day party that I wasn't allowed to attend yet had to cook the meals for the lot. "I swear to you that they're going to be wishing that they'd treated you better if something happens to them and they'll need to rely on you."

"It's okay, Mama Lottie," I assured her as I tossed in my ruined jeans. "I'm used to this treatment."

"But it's not okay at all, baby." She shut the washer lid closed and had me sit next to her as the washing machine did its magic. "You had to accept the worse things in life while your no-good siblings got to be spoiled by your momma. Me and the Tuckers are doing what we can, but she's turning up the heat in making you want to end it all so she and everyone else in this family- her husband's as well- are free from you. I don't know how long I have left on this earth, but I want you to promise me that even when I'm gone that you'll keep fighting for your right to live and survive. I told Mr. Tucker to make sure that you're given some necessities while the other old folks here in this apartment will take you in if you get locked out. Even the young folks will help out if they can. We can only do so much to help you, Demario, but we want you to keep living no matter what. Promise me this, my child. Don't let your momma and her brood steal your light."