Pavane for a Lost Boy (Or Rather, How to Survive Loss after Rejection)

Chapter Fifty-Two

Demario's POV

The next day, I was in the spacious living room where my foster family, Jose, Gianna, Holly and her clan, the Tuckers, the Callaway duo, and even Mrs. Bermudez-Estrada were waiting for me with the Nguyen twins holding court. "Hello, Demario," Dr. Nguyen said as I sat down at the piano bench (where it was surprisingly designated for me since my sheet music folder was already set up at the piano as if someone was playing it. "I trust that you had a restful sleep after the circumstances from yesterday."

I nodded, feeling self-conscious about my meltdown and me cussing out to the ceiling that made me look and feel foolish. "I slept well," I replied. "And yesterday was a bit...well-"

"Emotionally exhaustive?" Judge McGillivray suggested.

"Yeah. I felt like a complete idiot ranting and raving like that-"

"Let me stop you right there, Demario," Holly interrupted, holding up a manicured hand. "What you were feeling was a meltdown that was in the making after dealing with pent-up emotions that you held back after your suicide attempt. And while you say it wasn't appropriate, we all could tell that this was long overdue for you."

My  eyes furrowed. "What?" I replied. "Guys, I-"

"Demario, listen," Gianna cut me off. "From what we already know, you've been conditioned to keep your feelings to yourself and to do what your told with little complaint. That may have worked when you're on the job and all that, but not when you've been stressed out from school, relationships, and even family. And in your case, you had to hold all your emotions in for the sake of making people happy, even the ones who don't deserve the time of day- the late Bader family and their relatives who all used and abused you, to be exact."

"Right," Jose hummed. "And after yesterday, you still like to play it off as something that shouldn't have happened. But in my book, Demario? You're only hurting yourself even more by ignoring the problems within you."

It was Taylor's turn to speak. "I may be no psychologist or anything, but even I know when someone's still lost in the five stages of grief," he said. "Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance- all part of the stages, boy. And right now, you're stuck in between anger and depression with you bypassing bargaining. You're mainly in anger because you haven't fully come to grips that the people who let you down over and over again still think that you're nothing but a nuisance. You've been an angry boy, Demario. Don't you think that it's time to finally be healed of everything?"

I sighed, knowing that he was right. "I am angry," I admitted. "I'm angry at myself for not being more assertive back then. I'm angry at myself for letting everyone walk over me. But most of all, I'm angry at myself because I felt like I couldn't please everyone."

"But that's not your job," Mitch piped up. They let you down, Demario, while you did everything right. That doesn't mean that it's your job to make them happy all the time. And you bottling up those emotions isn't healthy for you, to be honest. You needed to finally let everything out and finally let your mother have it on how you were mistreated. From where my brother and I stand, you finally speaking out isn't a crime but something that was long overdue."

"We all know how gifted you are," Holly's dad commented, gesturing to me at the piano. "And don't be mad or anything, but Gianna needed to hear your original music- the one that you left unfinished. It was cinematic and electrifying to my ears."

I felt my face heat up. "I didn't know that you all liked it, my unfinished music," I replied. "I was ready to just throw it away and just focus on my other pieces."

"In a hen's tush," Mr. Tucker barked. "That's one piece of music that I want to hear on the radio, son."

"Exactly," commented Mrs. Callaway, her husband and the band director nodding in assent. "But we understand on how it involves your former relatives and why you feel like it's never going to be enough."