Pavane for a Lost Boy (Or Rather, How to Survive Loss after Rejection)

Chapter Fifty-Nine (The Calm Before the Storm)

Demario's POV

Returning to school after a traumatic event (say, your biggest secret being revealed to the world through social media and word of mouth) can be daunting on so many levels, especially when one's traumatic past catches up to you and you barely have a strong support system. If you're really unlucky, you might face harsh judgment from all around and will have to face being a pariah for the rest of high school unless you're willing to take drastic actions.

For my case, me returning to Pacfica Glades High is one that I was facing a mixed bag of emotions since this week was now Homecoming week; and with Ryan now off the football team and suspended, all I could do was focus on finishing my original music piece for the jazz concert and brace myself for the worst fears. But I guess luck was on my side since the reception I received was nothing short of solidarity and transparency, almost everyone saying that what Ryan and Theo did was unforgivable.

"I admire your courage to come back, Bader. You being a love child and hated for it is one thing, but for that to be spread around by people who wanted to see you fall? That's just sick."

"Everyone suspected Theo to pull this kind of shit, but we all thought that Ryan had more decency to show you some kindness. Guess I was wrong, never mind being gagged that he and Theo were sleeping with each other."

"I warned that fool that pulling this kind of shit and stooping to Blake's level would be his demise. But those two together? I feel for you and Kendricks, Bader! You two got played like a Texan fiddle like Hillman did."

I expected shunning since Ryan was the top jock and all that, but I guess things changed since a golden-boy athlete were in cahoots with a bloodthirsty kid who could be the next Ted Bundy if he wanted to.

Anyway, it was day three of the Homecoming festivities (with the jazz concert being the following day) and I was at the library during break period since I decided to let my musical flow rest so I wouldn't choke up tomorrow, so I decided to meditate to calm my thoughts. Things were now so surreal since my failed suicide attempt. I never thought that I would make it this far since my ex-relatives (save for a repentant Denise and Trey, both of them still keeping contact with me) agreed with my late mother that I was a thorn in their sides. I went from facing homelessness and accepting a slow and painless death to having a semblance of solid foundations. And I knew that I still had a long way to go before I could move on with the past, but at least I was taking the initiatives to move forward with life. It was like I was...starting to see the sunshine after the rain.

"Demario?"

I snapped my eyes open to gaze into those of Oliver as he was in front of me. "Hey," I greeted him, inviting him to sit down at the table. "I didn't expect to see you here."

My boyfriend smiled gently. "Had to check up on you since tomorrow's going to be the biggest moment of you life at the concert," he replied. "Nervous?"

"A little, but I had everything set up and used all of yesterday to talk with the jazz and chamber music bands to ensure that everything would go smoothly. And Bermudez-Estrada insisted that I don't play anything today, telling me that it'd be bad luck to play music before a big event."

Oliver snorted. "It's kind of a tradition around here," he told me. "Anyway, I want to talk about us and where we stand. I know that we're a couple and all, but I want us to know where we'll go from here. So, tell me where you see us in a few years."

I took a deep breath. "Wow. Right now, Ollie, I'm not even sure if things can ever last between us with Ryan and Theo being on the warpath," I began. "If anything, I can only count my blessings for the moment and appreciate what time that you and I are enjoying together. And as much as I hate to bring this up, my late mother would tell me that I'd never live to see myself with anyone who would put up with me so I'd settled for less. But then I met you and saw how you were living in your truth. And the more that we spent time with each other, the more I felt like I could be comfortable around you. Oliver, I thank God and all the fates that you came into my life because you are one of the factors that remind me what I have to fight for. And thought I can't truly tell you what might happen in the future because it's never guaranteed that we'll still be together by then. I can only say that I want us to hold on to a piece of forever for as long as we can."