Pavane for a Lost Boy (Or Rather, How to Survive Loss after Rejection)

Chapter Eighty-One

Demario's POV (Earlier that morning...)

How can you define the true meaning of happiness?

Is it when you enjoy good company with the people you love? Is it when you finally find someone who brings out the best in you? Or is it when you stop merely existing and start truly living- to accept the good things in life while learning to embrace the adversities?

Until now, I never truly what it means to be happy, not when I was putting up with barbed words from the people who made me their prisoner. They made it clear that I was never meant to be happy as long as they dictated my life. I was a flaw in their twisted world of perfection and I had to suffer for it- cleaning, cooking, doing their duties for school and life, and enduring the threats against my life. And despite doing all that they asked, they tore me down jsut so they could feel good about themselves.

I would've given them the entire galaxy on a silver platter yet they would never appreciate it all because it came from me. I gave them all of me even when I had nothing left to give, but they just took more and more while demanding to be something that I knew that I would never be. I used to wonder if I was ever going to be worth anything to them, even now after they're gone. But now, even as I deal with a lot of unresolved issues and Ryan Peavey's impending trial; I learned that they didn't deserve to ask me of anything all because they hated on me.

Since living with the Lomax family and undergoing my transformative life journey, I realized that the scars from the past can either break a man down to nothing or dare one to go the distance and learn to come out stronger. For my situation, I had to rebuild my life while slowly healing and seeing my self-worth for what it was. And thanks to my circle of friends who wish me well, I'm starting to finally embrace myself while learning to be happy.

I couldn't have imagined anything more blissful than this point of happiness for my life- me having a boyfriend who embraced himself despite family who wanted him to suffer, finally making peace with people who were also hurting from my late mother's controlling hand, and finding my purpose for my creativity. The people who wished me the worst had their chance to make my life easier, yet they chose evil and are now paying for it. Me? Well, I can only appreciate this moment of happiness and believe that there will be more to come after the storms.

Folks, if you told me that there would be a time when I would finally find my point of worth after a failed suicide attempt back when I was only ready to end it all after being left homeless and disowned; I would've just called you nuts and just commenced with my exit route. But it wouldn't have mattered because I was now feeling some semblance of peace within myself. And despite what was going on with Peavey, I was going to enjoy my new life and believe that there will be the rainbow after the storms.

Even now, as I finished getting dressed for school and feeling lighter from last night's passionate lovemaking with Oliver, I was ready to love myself for who I was while taking the moments to appreciate what I had. Because I didn't want to lose what I had while caught in the moment.

"Morning, Demario," Joel greeted me as he, Taylor, and the guys (Oliver included) were sitting down to Noreen's omelets and potatoes. "Had a good night's sleep?"

"I bet he did, especially after Oliver made his night," Taylor, for his seriousness, said cheekily, sending me a teasing grin.

I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment as Oliver chuckled before sipping on some orange juice. "Oh, hush," I said, waving my hand to deflect the events from last night."

"Y'all leave him be," Noreen said as she sat down my plate. "Y'all just mad that Oliver made him glow from last night's romp and Demario's got that inner light from being-"