Dearest - truly flung out of space

15 - Coming clean

The sunbeams fall through the blinds. Against my expectations and wishes I'm not entangled in the arms of a certain blonde. After rolling onto my left side I realize that the bed is empty. My eyes roam around the room, desperately searching for a sign of her. Nothing. No piece of clothing, no small makeup bag, no scent of her.
Sadness. So it was just a dream. Of course it wasn't real. It was way too special to be real. I sigh, trying to contain my disappointment. Slowly I get out of bed, shuffling into the bathroom for my daily morning routine. Shortly after I enter the kitchen, surprised to find an already set table with two cups, two plates and two knives. Maybe it wasn't a dream? I grab myself a glass with water and gulp it down.

The apartment door opens and Carol walks in. She's trying to carry two big bags, probably filled with groceries since I'm short staffed with any kind of food. She closes the door with an elegant kick of her hips, drops down the bags, takes off her coat and runs into my arms.
I immediately wrap my arms around her, needing to feel her close to me.
"Good morning dearest. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you woke up but I wanted to surprise you with a nice breakfast. I would have arrived earlier but who knew the traffic would be this horrible at such an early hour," she explains and gently pats my back. I slowly pull away and look into her eyes. She tries so hard. She cares about me so much. She genuinely cares about my well-being. I want to kiss her but I don't know how to ask. I don't want to be too fast.
Of course, Carol notices the storm in my brain.
"Kiss me, my dear," she whispers and before I can answer her, my lips are on hers. The kiss is soft, caring, sensual. None of her kisses and touches are overly sexual. I think she senses my hesitation when it comes to intimate contact. Carol would never force me. She would never do anything against my will.

The kiss is gentle and loving. I feel her tongue slipping over my bottom lip, probably asking for entrance. I have never done something like that, nor thought about it in any way but I part my lips slightly, letting her tongue inside. Carol smiles into the kiss and gently explores my mouth. Her hands find my waist again and mine cling around her neck. I find myself feeling safe.
"I love you," I whisper after breaking the kiss.
"I love you too, dearest," she answers just as quietly as I did.
"I want this moment to last forever. But I have to go to uni," I sigh, scared of ruining the moment but she chuckles.
"Oh dear, you are funny. Your studies are more important. How long do you have classes today? I could pick you up and then we could do something together. Would you like that?" she requests as she turns her attention back to the grocery bags.
"You mean as.... as a couple?" I ask with a voice full of uncertainty.
"Yes dearest, of course. We do have to be careful but yes, we will spend time as a couple," she answers and places the joghurt in the fridge.

I'm at university, waiting for Amelia. We don't want to go to university and so we decide to go to our favorite café instead. I want to tell her about Carol. I need to because I owe it to her. I've been keeping her in the dark for so long that I feel so guilty.
"Bestie!" Amelia shouts and pulls me out of my thoughts. We hug and I request to sit down.
I take a deep breath.
"Amelia, I have to tell you so much. So many things have been happening between me and Carol. And I feel so guilty for keeping you in the dark for so long," I start and tell her everything that has been happening.
I start to tell her about all the things that have been happening between me and Carol. I start about telling her the story of the day we cooked together, move over to the message from Abby and eventually tell her about the events from yesterday. It takes a lot of time for me to explain everything. Amelia wants to know every single detail and so I try to give her the full truth since she asks a lot of questions.

"Wow, that's a lot," she scoffs after I finished with my monologue, "I'm happy for you."
I smile at her, thankful that she feels this way.
"But I'm sorry I haven't told you about it sooner. I wanted to be 100% sure that it was right. I feel really guilty," I whisper.
"It's okay. I know you wanted to be completely sure. And plus, you told me a lot about Carol. You know I would never not support you. So how's the situation now? Does she live with you?"