Dearest - truly flung out of space

37 - Two is one too many

Weeks pass. Carol and I are stressing quite a lot because I got the invitation for my graduation ceremony. My favorite blonde has been dragging me into fancy boutiques and clothing stores where I could never afford a single thing, but she insisted on covering the cost. She has this whole picture of me in a dress. She won't stop talking about some ballgown or whatever these dresses are called. Honestly, I don't really listen to her since the idea of a dress never appealed to me. I just don't see myself in a dress but I'm too scared to tell her that since she is so invested.

"Try this one on, it's perfect," she says as she hands me yet another light blue dress. It is beautiful, I won't lie. But it is not me. I used to love dresses when I was younger but now, I'm more into suits now. I can't put the dress on. I just can't. It feels weird on my skin.

"Carol?" I hesitantly ask and pull her into the changing room. She looks concerned, but I don't meet her gaze.

"What is it, love? Do you not like it? It's a beautiful dress. Imagine we put your hair up and then give you a light makeup look. You will look beautiful," she says and takes my hands. She's in her own dream world again and I bite the inside of my cheek. It's a nervous habit and I have been doing it since I can think. I don't want to destroy her little dream.

"C-Carol, I... I don't want to wear a dress. You're so into this but... I just don't see myself wearing a dress. I'm sorry," I whisper, still not meeting her eyes. Her smile fades and she looks a little hurt. Seeing her like this, watching her realize that her dream is not working out is breaking my heart.

"I.. I'm so sorry. I know you want me to wear a dress. You have it all planned out. But... it's not me. I'm so sorry. I'm ruining everything," I sigh and turn away from her. I take the dress and put it on, desperately trying to grow fond of the image in the mirror. But I just can't. The dress looks beautiful but on me, it looks like it doesn't belong. It looks fake. Tears run down my cheeks.

"Dearest, I'm sorry," she whispers and pulls me into a hug, "I can't imagine how you must feel. I might have been planning this whole thing, but I never once asked you how you felt about it. I'm sorry. You don't have to wear a dress if you're not ready for it. This is your day and I want it to be perfect for you. I'm sorry I'm so demanding. Let's take a look at the suit section, shall we? What do you have in mind?" she asks and pulls me into a kiss.

"Are you sure you're not mad?" I whisper.

Carol shakes her head and reaches her hand up to caress my cheek.

"Mad? Oh dearest. I'm not mad at all. You should wear what you like. If that is a suit, then I'll make sure that you look as amazing as you want to. And plus, I can compensate by spoiling Rindy with a dress," she jokes and presses her lips on mine.

She helps me take the dress off and we walk to the suit section.

"Alright, it is all yours. What are you thinking? Classic black or maybe something with a pop of color?" she asks and I stroll through the suit collection. They're all so pretty but I'm not sure if they will look good on me.

Carol picks some options out. She sends me to the changing room and comes back after a few minutes with three different suits. One is classic blayk, the other one is beige with stripes and the third one is burgundy. I gasp when I see the last one, it's beautiful. Carol smiles ash she hands me the black one.

"Let's try this one first. Then we can try the other ones. Save the best for last, hm," she teases and I roll my eyes.

I put the black suit on and show myself to Carol. she's back in her element and even though it's not her desired dress section, she's very invested in making me look great.