Dearest - truly flung out of space

20 - I'll be waiting

It's been 2 days since Carol left. 2 days out of 14 days. Statistically, that's 14,29%. The days are rough. Waking up in the morning is a challenge. I miss turning over and looking at my favorite blonde. The thought that Harge gets to sleep next to Carol disgusts me. This man has no right to do that. He's... I can't even explain it. I hate him. I don't even know how to process this whole situation.

7AM. I'm turning over in bed and am met with the sight of the teddy. It still is wearing my favorite black blouse from Carol. It looks a little silly, the small teddy in the big blouse. I cuddle it a little closer and breathe in the scent again. A sigh escapes my lips, I miss her so much. My phone pings and I immediately check it. Unfortunately, it's not my favorite blonde texting but my best friend. She's asking about a uni course and I reply.

After I've made breakfast, I decide to text my favorite blonde.

Y/N
Hello, my love. How are you? I miss you so much. I know it's only been two days without you but I miss you so much. I wish I could be with you right now. Thank you for the bear. I bet you can imagine that I'm hugging it nonstop. And when I figured out that it was wearing the Sì perfume, my heart melted. Carol, I miss you. Please come back soon.

I feel relieved with my message and sent it. It doesn't take long for her to reply.

Carol <3
Hello my angel. It's currently 1PM, we just had lunch. Trust me, I don't want to be here at all. Harge is controlling me. I can't take a step without being judged by him. Please forgive me but I have changed your contact to some random name of an imaginary work colleague. It hurts me so much but I must ask you to adjust your writing style to this role. I'm so sorry. Know that I miss you incredibly much and that I can't wait to have you back in my arms. Only 12 more days.

I'm happy about her message but at the same time, it breaks my heart. Not only is she not with me, but I also have to pretend to be someone that I'm not in order to protect us. How does a middle-aged woman from an imaginary store even act? It's embarrassing but I actually have to google that. It's definitely a challenge to sound like a character like this but if it helps Carol and me, then I'm willing to do it. I'm actually willing to do anything for her.

My phone pings again. This time, it is a message from Abby.

Abby Gerhard
Hello Y/N,
I hope you're doing well. I was wanting to ask if you would like to have a coffee with me this afternoon. I can imagine how hard the time without Carol is and I really hope you're coping. Let me know if you have time. I'm looking forward to it.
Regards, Abby

Her message is cute and I immediately reply.

Y/N

Hey Abby,
how nice of you to reach out to me. I would love to have a coffee with you. Thank you. I have a uni course from 12 to 2PM, so maybe we can meet after? I can take the bus to the café so you don't have to make a detour.

I send the message and get ready for uni. After a while, Abby texts back, saying that she will pick me up. I try to get on with the uni course but I can't concentrate. I miss Carol so much, it's physically painful.

90 long minutes later, I'm waiting for Abby in the parking lot. She arrives at exactly 2PM.
"Hey!" she says after pulling down the window. I smile at her. I'm happy to go out with her. She will be the one to get me out of the dark hole that I call my current situation.

"Abby, I need your help with something," I say after taking a sip of my water.
Abby looks at me with curious eyes. I swallow.
"I want to sign up for my driver's license," I state and she nods.
"That's a big step. Are you sure you're ready?" she asks, clearly concerned.
I nod.
"Yes, can you help me? I want to finish it before Carol comes back," I
reply.
"Y/N, that's impossible! You can't get a driver's license in two weeks. Getting this license is a process, there are so many steps you have to take," she explains. Her voice is stern but I know that she's trying to support me.
"What are the steps?" I ask in return and look her dead in the eye.
"You have the theoretical lessons, kind of like lectures. Then, you have the theoretical exam. After you've taken that, you start the actual driving and then you have the practical exam. The amount of time you need depends on your skills in driving. You can't force this, Y/N," she explains with a firm voice. I know she is trying to look out for me but I need to do this.
"I can do well under pressure," I say and shrug my shoulders.
She laughs.
"Y/N, this isn't about pressure. This is a huge step. I needed 3 months to get my license. Carol needed even longer. But don't tell her," she chuckles and takes a bite of her cake.
"What I'm saying is that I don't want you to push yourself. I know you would like to surprise Carol but please, don't torture yourself, okay? But I know how much you want this so I will help you sign up at a driving school," she continues and sighs. She can't turn down my wish. Abby knows how stubborn I am when it comes to something. Once I've set my mind to something, I will work hard until I get it.
"Thank you, Abby," I say and squeeze her hand, "You're really saving me."

Abby talks me through the process. She already gives me tips and tricks and she even offers to teach me the basics of driving in the woods. I've always imagined how my father would teach me these things. Never have I thought that the best friend of my middle-aged girlfriend would take this job. I'm a bit disappointed that it's not Carl who gets to teach me but the thought of surprising Carol with me driving her home from the train station feels magical.

"Earth to Y/N! Hello? Is someone home?" Abby's voice pulls me back to reality. I didn't even realize that she was talking.
"Hmm?" I reply, still a bit uncoordinated.
"I was talking to you? Did you not hear me or didn't you want to hear me?" Abby teases with a raised eyebrow.
"I'm sorry. I was so lost in thought that I didn't even know you talked to me. I was just... thinking. Abby, I promise that I will make this happen. I want to have my license. I want to surprise Carol. I might not even need the license. I'm sure she will be happy if I only tell her that I started driving. Please, help me," I whisper and look at her with a desperate gaze. Abby can't turn this wish down. She just can't because I know how to play my cards. And I will make her help me.
"Alright, alright," she finally gives in.
"Thank you. Thank you so much! I won't disappoint you and I won't push myself. I promise," I say and squeeze her hand. She smiles. This could really be something.

A few hours later, I sit in bed with the teddy bear cuddled up in my arms. Tears run down my cheeks as I try to form a sentence in my notes app. I want to text Carol, but I have no idea how to write the message.
That's until my phone rings. It's Carol. I immediately pick up.

"Hello? Y/N?" Her voice is quiet and it sounds incredibly tired.
"Carol? Hello," I answer with hesitation. I've missed her voice so much.
"My darling, hello. How are you?" she asks and her voice seems to soften.
I'm confused. Didn't she want to keep our talks less personal? Didn't she tell me to act like a colleague from work?
"I'm... I'm okay. I miss you...," I whisper under my breath. Tears well up in my eyes and I'm close to crying. But I try to hold myself together.
"I miss you too, my angel. 10 more days. We can do this. We just had lunch again, Harge is playing golf now, so I have a bit of time alone. I miss you so much. The other women are horrible. They are so... so fake. They love their husbands so much and they almost kill each other with compliments about them."
I chuckle. She still is the Carol I fell in love with all these months ago.
"Jenny, I need to go. My husband is back from his golf. It was so nice to talk to you. I hope we can catch up soon. Please, send your husband kind regards from me," she says and ends the call. Harge is back.
I sigh as I put the phone down.
"Stupid prick," I whisper and pull the teddy bear into my arms again.

Carol Aird, how long until I see you again? 

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(a/n:) Hello, my lovely readers! I hope you've had a good week and are looking forward to a new chapter. I start university again tomorrow and I'm 💫terrified💫, but no pain, no gain, right? Anyway, I hope you have a good week and I'm hoping to see you next week. 

Sarah :)