☆ All the Stars ☆ (rarl)

Vol. 16 | I Don't Fit In Here Anymore

The road to Alexandria was much longer than Ron had previously remembered. Maybe that's because he didn't have a car, as he snuck out of the sanctuary before sunrise. Surely Negan will notice soon, but he's already gone now.
He knows he'll get in trouble for this, and he's going to need an excuse, but he had to see Carl.

He sighed, looking back at the group of walkers following him like he was their leader.
Was he their leader?
He didn't know, but he definitely didn't want to be. He wanted nothing to do with them, but he knows everyone associates him with the dead.
It sucked, but it was just a fact. And maybe they weren't wrong to do that.
He was seemingly the only one immune to their disease and wrath. But why is that?
Why, that night, did the dead eat his family alive, but spare him?

It couldn't be genetic, since his whole family was eaten, so what was it? Was it something he had done? Had he done it prior to being bit, or whilst he was being bit? He didn't know, and he wasn't sure he ever would. He wished there was more people like him. Even one would be good enough. Just someone to talk to.

Ron stopped in his tracks, a question he had never considered crossing his mind.
"Am I going to turn like everyone else when I die?" He asked himself, turning to look at the group of walkers following him.
I guess I'll never know, right? He thought to himself, taking out his knife.
He killed his stalkers, angry about his own immunity and the questions it posed.

—

"Hey guys. What's been going on?" Ron said quietly, sitting by his family's graves.
"I know that I missed birthdays and all the other holidays for a while there, sorry. I'm sure you understand though." He said, pulling some of the grass out.
"I don't think I told what's been happening. I've been living with a man named negan. He taught me how to survive and stuff. He's.. controversial, I guess. If you asked anyone here, they'd say he's a bad guy." He said, as if his family could talk with the Alexandrians.

"But he's not. Really. Don't worry mom, I know you are. He's good to me. Better than you ever were, dad. It's tough though, because he doesn't know that I'm from here. Part of me wants to tell him, but I think he'd be upset I waited so long. And the longer I wait the worse it gets. He'll feel like I don't trust him." Ron said softly.

"I think I do. Trust him. He saved my life. I would be dead if it wasn't for him. Maybe that sounds stupid to you, and being dead is way better. I don't know. But I have to assume it's not. Alexandria left me for dead, and Negan saved me. See? He's not bad." He said, starting to ponder where his loyalty lies, and where it should.
"I think he might even love me. Carl loves me more than anyone else, but he's probably second. Yeah, Aaron, Eric, Mikey, Enid and maybe even Ezekiel do too, but it's not the same. They're probably the only ones who'd give their lives for mine, and me them." He said, only now realizing he may do that for Negan.
"Well, sorry for rambling I guess. I'm gonna go hang out with Carl now. Love you guys." Ron said with a smile, getting up.

——

Carl and Ron laid in Carls bed, the blankets over them and nothing in between them.

"I love you." Ron whispered into Carls ear, his hand rubbing his chest and stomach.
A smile went across Carls face. "I love you too. More than anything." He replied, taking Ron's hand from his chest and kissing it.

"Baby, can we talk?" Ron asked softly.
"Of course. What's going on?" Carl said, turning around to face his boyfriend.
"I've just been thinking. I feel like I don't fit in with the saviors, you know? They're.. not like me, I guess. I don't know how to explain it." Ron said, looking into Carls blue eye.
"I know what you mean. They're bad people, and you're not. You're the most beautiful person ever. And they're the scum of the earth." Carl gave his opinion.