A Strange Kind of Beautiful

Chapter 2

Chapter 2: During Them

I followed April on Instagram. She's not the type of person who posts a lot about herself. I only saw few posts of her. But she likely does associate herself on posting stories. NGL app was a trend that time. It's an app where you may get an anonymous message from someone, and they can confess anything without knowing who it could be. I saw how she responded to each of them. My gaze stopped to read her recent story that she responded few minutes ago.

Will I ever have the chance if I tell you I liked you?

Only time will tell. She stated as such. I imagined how interesting her life must be. She is intelligent, has plenty of friends, and her parents appear to love and care about her. She also exudes a cool vibe. Her existence must be so ideal. I guess I just love to compare myself with other people. People like her, I envy them. I wish to have that kind of life she has. But I never wanted to make her life miserable like mine.

Why is my life miserable?

I don't know.

It just became a habit of mine that I don't appreciate things in life anymore. Although I have to. I'm too young, I have dreams. Yet what makes my life miserable? I don't even know. I just felt like it is.

Do you remember how I said that I choose my friends wisely?

I don't remember when it happened. However, it was my first time ever drinking. Emjae's room was where I was. Angel is here with us this time. I wouldn't argue that drinking was a good thing for me; I was only a minor. But the way we bought two bottles of soju and how our deceitful methods worked excites me to this day.

I recalled how I went on my boarding house and brought my bag with my laptop. Sabi ko sa landlady ko ay may aasikasuhin sa research at makikitulog lang ako sa boarding house ni Emjae. I was stifling my laugh when we got out of the house. Diretso naman kami sa tindahan para bumili. Kasama ko si Angel kasi tinatamad si Emjae.

"Angel, may ipapabili pa ba si tito?"

'Yung tindera, napaka-suspicious kung tumingin pero wala namang sinabi.

"Ha? Sinong tito?"

Nagkatinginan kami nung tindera. I was already holding two bottles of soju at kaagad ko iyong kinuha sa kamay niya dahil baka may balak siyang bawiin iyon. I paid for it and left immediately. Nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang makaalis na kami. I feel like I just did something illegal which, kinds of an illegal thing to do. Angel was still clueless for what I did. I told her it was an excuse. Nung nakapasok na kami sa kwarto ay saka niya lang nakuha 'yung sinabi ko.

Two yakult drinks, soju, ice and pulutan (they call it). I've been curious how soju tastes like. Mostly, nakikita ko sila sa k-drama and I told myself to have a try when I'm finally 18. But here I am in my 16 years of existence trying it for the first time.

It tastes horrible.

Do alcohol tastes like this? Why do a lot of people try this thing? Hindi siya masarap. Para kang masusuka na ewan sa sobrang pait. I wonder how people can drink many bottles eh sumuko na kaagad ako sa unang beses. We were trying to be quiet kasi ayaw naming mahuli. One rule in Emjae and Angel's boarding house is drinking is not allowed. So, we pretty snuck it in and I'm prouder than it rather than getting a 94 average grade on my first semester.

I tried drinking more and it was getting warm in my throat. Yakult 'yung nagbibigay tamis pero 'yung alcohol ang nangingibabaw. After a few drinks, I stopped. Para akong masusuka sa lasa. Emjae told me sa una lang 'yan pero masasanay ka lang din. Halatang ilang beses na rin uminom, eh.

Yet, I stopped for a few minutes. I really don't know why people drink this thing. Nakakapalasing, I still can't feel anything pero aware akong bumibigat na ang ulo ko. I opened my laptop and attempted to complete my assignment while occasionally sipping on alcohol. We still have class tomorrow so might as well, do this thing.