Chapter 11

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Chapter 11:

I haven't been in touch with April since then. We were still attending classes, but we wouldn't talk to each other. Every time I saw her around, I'll keep my head down not meeting her eyes. She's always in the STEM room where the girl she liked was there.

As for Emjae, she's been seeing someone. I don't know who she was, and I haven't met her. She never told me anything. Alliana told me because the girl Emjae's been seeing was Alliana's friend. After what happened that night, Emjae's still the same. Locked her doors, eating only when she's hungry and stays in her room all the time. But the good thing is she starts attending classes.

The rain was pouring heavily outside the room. But there is something about the rain that made me stay on my seat instead of practicing for our senior's night dance, watch the rain drumming on every room. It was windy and I can smell the Earth's scent.

The wind blowing my hair, song playing in the background and there was a whiff of petrichor in the air. For a moment of time, I felt breathing. I felt alive. I looked around and I met a pair of eyes staring at me. We locked gazes. I didn't break the eye contact, but I know it lasted for seconds and that she was the first one to look away. I felt my heart skipping a beat.

April knows how to drive me crazy every time our eyes meet and every time she's around.

I had another dream about April the night before her birthday. It was too lovely to be real. In my dreams, I was surrounded by gorgeous flowers while strolling through a field of green grass. I can hear the birds chirping and there were butterflies all around. Dogs, chasing around and I saw a beautiful pond with water lilies. A bridge under the pond where I saw her waiting for me.

Her face unseen but I know it was her.

A dream where she liked me. A dream where I was able to dry her wet hair and let my cold fingertips touch her cheeks. Oh my, she was the most beautiful. She smiled at me, she would talk at me in the gentlest manner, and she showed how much she cared. In that dream, I felt loved, that I was longing for this to happen, and it finally did.

I greeted her a happy birthday at exact twelve in the morning. I wrote a poem that will never know it was meant for her. April invited me to her birthday celebration, but I didn't come. I just want to get myself to sleep and fall in love with the idea of April once again.

There's winter in her eyes though summer steals the air

Laid flowers on her gravestone yard, I saw her there

The world in my head was filled with paradise and beauty

Cigarettes and champagne, not sober, I stared with empathy


Smiled drunk, felt her skin wrapped my body

Chin kneeled on my clavicle bones, I was steady

Tired and happy and beautiful, that's who she was

Sat beside me, she sighed and leaned her heart on the past


Droplets of water dripping down her milky shoulders

Rub her hair with a towel, eyes sleepy, her hair within my fingers

A world where two souls are meant for each other

A world where two hearts are loved and tied together


Eyes closed, ephemeral happiness and stayed for a moment

Watched her spinning in a kaleidoscope movement

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