A Strange Kind of Beautiful

Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

"What's your love language?"

I was lying on my bed, in a cluttered room with a pile of clothes on the floor and papers all around. The colors of the sunset streaming in through the window shone all around the room. It was all yellow and orange, then pink until it turns blue. Sounds of vehicles and voices outside but I can mostly hear the bird's call saying it's time to say goodbye.

A heavy figure was on my side. Her head rested on my chest, listening to my pounding heart. I can smell her hair, her scent, and the soap she used. She bloomed like roses all at once. My hands crept up her back and began stroking her hair.

She was warm. I was cold. She was physically strong, I am weak. But no matter how heavy she can be, I don't really mind her weight on me. I can hear her grumpy noises and the purr that the cat makes. Storm, a black and white Persian cat, sat near me, on the other side of Emjae's place.

Emjae doesn't really like cats and animals with furs. Although, I sometimes saw her petting Storm on the lounge room with the cat on her lap. She said she still prefer exotic animals.

"Physical touch." She replied.

"Although I don't really like someone touching me. Ako 'yung nagta-take initiative."

She longs for hugs on some days. She would sit in the lounge room with me as I worked on schoolwork, placing her head on my lap. Some days, she won't let me touch her. She would keep her distance or take my hand off her shoulder. After school, when I am in my room, she has this habit of knocking on my door and asking me if she could come in. Then she would stay in my room for a couple of minutes and all she does was to give me a hug.

I got used to it. Hindi naman ako nag-reklamo. I hate to admit but I kind of liked it too. I'd wait in my room for her to knock, and my door had been kept unlocked since then so she could get in easily and as many times as she wanted.

"What's your love language?"

She was the one to ask me this time.

April comes to my mind.

She would be the one carrying the groceries for me on the day we went grocery shopping together. The way she pulls the cart as I chose some things. She once gave me popcorn. She's always the one who carries the umbrella. She carried my school bag home from school. We'd exchange drinks and try to get a taste of our orders. She always takes me home.

Being taken care of makes me feel loved the most.

Tandang tanda ko pa. Maybe those are one of the reasons I liked April even more. The way she treats me is just different. Hindi ko alam kung ganyan ang trato niya sa akin o sadyang ganyan lang talaga siyang tao. One of the reasons that also made me confuse. I feel so special of the way she treats me. I just love the way she takes the initiative and I hate the way she's like that to everyone.

"Acts of Service" sagot ko.

I'm feeling relaxed and entirely different. As if nothing ever existed and there was only Emjae and me. I'm free of worry, like I'm a small kid again. I feel protected in Emjae's arms and asleep whenever I'm with her.

I heard a knock on my door. I opened my eyes and realized no one was there. It was already dark, and the lights were off. Ang lamig lamig ng hangin at ang tahimik ng paligid. I sighed and got up. I opened the door and saw the landlady handing me some food.

"Thank you po."

"Kumain na kayo. Si Emjae nga pala? Ilang araw na 'yung hindi umuuwi. Alam mo ba kung nasaan siya?"

I shook my head.

I have no idea where she is right now. But I saw her earlier in school. Hindi kami nagpapansinan. Ilang araw na rin siyang wala sa kwarto niya. Nagtataka rin ako kung nasaan siya. Wala man siyang sinabi. I'm doubting it was because of me.