A Strange Kind of Beautiful

Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

Cleo, Rose, and Yvette decided to come to my house to accomplish some Statistics and Probability work. Emjae cooked some toron and I bought some drinks for us. April later came over to my house and began working on her project. She was sitting on my bed in my room with her laptop, and I let her do the work while I assisted Emjae in the kitchen.

Maya-maya pa ay naririnig ko na ang mga ingay nila. That they are at ease and feel at home gives me a sense of relief. We sat on the sala after I summoned them for food. They spoke for hours, complimenting Emjae's cook.

Hindi naman sila nagtagal pa at umalis na but April stayed quite some time in my room. Emjae gave me the side-eye and entered her room silently. Even though she's not used to it, I know she's making an effort to interact with these folks. Despite her discomfort, I still value what she's done.

Once she's finished, she didn't leave yet. I was already laying on my bed with my head on the pillow. She did the same thing. We're lying stagnant on my bed, and I can feel her hair brushing against mine. The room was darker, and the sun was resting. It was quiet and we didn't say a word until I finally had the courage to say so.

"Can I touch your hair?"

I recalled how I ran my fingers through her hair the previous time she was here, when she was drunk. Because I'm concerned that she might feel awkward, I opted to ask her permission this time.

"Yes"

I smiled silently and touched her hair softly.

"How was your day?" I asked April.

There are a lot of things in April's life. School competitions, SSG campaigns, programs and stuffs. She included herself in Taekwondo as well, which astounds me given how much she can accomplish.

Minsan nga, naiisip ko. Ang hirap hirap niyang abutin. But seeing her in the room with me talking about how her day was, I feel special.

"Do you have any questions you want to ask me?"

I'm pretty sure she has a lot in her sleeves as well. I've ignored her for quite many times already and she has no clue on what I've been feeling recently. She joked that she had a lot of questions she wanted to ask me, but that it would take some guts and alcohol to do so.

"Can I touch your hair?"

It surprised me when April once said to me, "You're out of my league." After all, she's the one who should be out of my league. She would never have the audacity to come up to me, tease me or she can't dare herself to touch my hair.

Her fingers brushing against my hair. It felt comfortable and I find it really sweet. I feel sleepy and at peace. That day I couldn't wish for anything more but to let her stay longer.

I ignored Emjae's words. I ignored those days I drove myself crazy attempting to comprehend what are we and why certain events occurred in the manner they did. I can't seem to get rid of the notion that April liked me in some way and was just trying to cover it up. Or maybe I'm simply naive enough to have allowed everything to proceed knowing that it will end in a way I don't know, and I'm most frightened about that.

It goes beyond just my own fear of failing. But I also fear being uncertain. The manner in which some events took place unexpectedly and contrary to your expectations or plans.

I don't want to be naïve. But I was so happy.

It appears to be the only thing that counts. Your feelings of serenity, care, and the way someone else looks at you. The emotion and the moment are indescribably wonderful, and you want them to happen again.