A Strange Kind of Beautiful

Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

I don't get it why young people like me never take things seriously these days. Ever since I was ten, I would tell myself to marry my first love. If I were to love someone, I would make sure that I would never regret it. That sort of stuff, I suppose, only occurs in fairy tales. Disney princesses are my favorite, and I have this fantasy of meeting my own prince charming. Now, I prefer female soldiers.

I guess that ideal fantasy led me to the situation where I realized to never trust anyone. That this world I am stepping on, live in uncertainty and deception. I should have known better. A girl in her 12th grade randomly started chatting with me and told me she liked me.

How could someone like me if they do not even know me? Even though we had met in school, she never expressed any interest in me. We had a casual conversation once and I can only treat her as a sister. It's weird but I got suspicious when she started chatting me every night.

It was nice talking to her, but her words and actions never satisfied me. She would ignore me at school when I tried calling her name. She does, however, have a nightly habit of talking to me. I let her. As soon as someone expressed an interest, they just fade. People like her don't last that long. I was right.

Few days later she stopped chatting me. Emjae told me I was ghosted. Disappeared after some time of bothering your life. My classmates told me that she is a playgirl. She enjoys playing with people's emotions, which is a significant red flag. They even revealed to me that while talking to me, she was conversing with another girl. She made girls cry.

I tried confronting her why she stopped talking to me. She told me it was better to stay friends.

That's when I realized. Akala ko lalaki lang pala ang ganyan. Babae rin pala.

I wasn't bothered by her disappearance at all. She toyed with my emotions; thus, I have every right to be upset. Undoubtedly not. I allowed her to talk to me, but I never allowed her to hurt my feelings. I never trusted her in the first place. Yet after all that, I didn't get mad. It's weird how what I felt was pity.

Why do people not take things seriously these days?

People enjoy playing with someone else's sincere affection. We enjoy betraying others' trust, fabricating lies, and tricking people, but we detest getting hurt, we hate being wronged.

I can see why it was difficult for me to place my trust in others. Considering that we all only defend one thing. Our emotions. Even if we are worthy of real love, we are afraid to express it because no one takes anything anymore seriously.

Love is a such a beautiful thing, but also a wreckage of someone's individuality.

April asked me if she could stay here in my place for a while. She was with Cleo and Rose. Eventually, she was the only one na tumambay dahil umuwi na si Rose same as Cleo. We were on my bed, reviewing for the upcoming exam. Wala naman daw siyang ginagawa sa bahay nila so she decided to stay here for a while.

Out of blue, we talked about our parents. I get to know some information about her. April's mother was an OFW which was a coincidence because my mother was also an OFW in Taiwan. I knew very little about her father. But I noticed how she dealt with expectations and fears as well.

April's life wasn't as perfect as I thought.

She almost spent two hours in my place that we talked even the most random things.

"Tinatamad ako bumili ng shampoo so safeguard 'yung ginamit ko"

Her hands touched my hair, gently stroking it. I was startled but I didn't say anything.