A Strange Kind of Beautiful

Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

26th of May. It's been half a month since Emjae and I stopped talking. I didn't pay attention about it anymore. I cried enough and I think I deserved to try to enjoy my life even if it means slowly detaching with this person.

It was Prom Night. The most anticipated event finally happened. We were late. I was with Cleo the whole time but we still made it to the venue. My heart was throbbing upon seeing Kimiro wearing a black suit. I was wearing an off-shoulder peach gown with gold sequins around and Cleo was wearing her gold gown and she looked pretty.

My heart was pounding even more when I saw Kimiro holding flowers. He smiled and stopped in front of me and gave me those flowers.

It was my first-time receiving flowers from a guy.

I appreciate the flowers and the effort but somehow, I was faced with undeniable guilt and discomfort. Hindi ako sanay. Even after Kimiro's confession, he never had the chance to talk to me. I avoided him at all costs, and I don't really want to talk to him but one day I found myself sitting on the back of the room, listening to him.

"Yes, I like you."

Last time someone confessed in this place, it never got a good result.

"I'm willing to pursue you. Liligawan kita."

I shook my head. Kimiro got rejected right away. I do not want to confuse him because the last time someone confessed her feelings, a mixed of emotions occurred.

"I don't like you." I said it in a concise manner and clear.

My face was calm, but I know for myself I do not want to face this kind of confrontation and I felt really, really bad for turning him down.

"Maghihintay ako."

He was persistent about it pero mas matigas ang ulo ko.

"Please. No."

"I like someone else." I added.

Kimiro knows who I was referring to.

"April?"

I blinked two times and nodded. Even if I kept seeing April in schools, we would meet gazes and I would always be the first one to look away. I cannot force myself from not liking this girl, so I just let it happen. Maybe if I keep liking her, my feelings will eventually fade. I would just wait for it to happen and after that, maybe I will be happier.

I don't want Kimiro to feel the same way as I did. Although, I don't really know how men's feelings work. It just feels scary and devastating to be rejected by someone you really liked.

"May I have this dance with you?"

I was left in awe when Kimiro offered his hand. Eyes were on me. Kimiro anticipating for an answer. I don't want to make him feel bad but there is something really uncomfortable whenever I'm around him. It started when he started showing me hint of liking me.

"I'm sorry." I shook my head.

I know he was disappointed. He nodded and left.

I took a deep breath and stood up, trying to find distractions as I make my way through the dancing crowds. A sweet and slow music was playing, and everyone seems to be enjoying.

Emjae didn't attend. She just changed her mind. I remembered her talking about what might be the color of her gown and how excited she was. But right now, she was not here.

It has been on my mind a lot lately. Perhaps it's time for me to move on from this person and live my life on my own terms? be able to go out on my own without her and reconnect with friends. Perhaps it's time for both of us to change—for me to change. That's the idea behind it. We don't have to stay here together forever. Even if it means letting go, maybe it's best to give up our relationship and learn to survive without each other.