A Strange Kind of Beautiful

Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

Why do people come and go?

"Because not everyone is willing to invest in a long-term relationship."

I've heard it one time from Emjae.

"Not everyone has the courage, the mindset, the willingness to stay."

"Also, there are some people who are victims of abandonment kaya mas pipiliin nilang mang-iwan kaysa maiwan."

"Maybe, they're chasing something else or maybe because you're just a hindrance."

I let out a sigh. I asked Emjae what she wanted for Christmas that December. She advised me not to bother with a gift, but I persisted. I'd like to give her something.

"A letter."

"A handwritten letter."

I still have the copy of that letter I gave her.

A LETTER FROM KIARA:

First of all, you're a bad influence. Seriously, you are. You make me do things that shouldn't be done. Things that would make my parents kill me if they figured out for sure.

But. I am not gaslighting you. For me, it's a compliment. I've been used to be in a circle where I do things that I always do. A never-ending pattern of education, friends and study. I never walked out of that line because I'm scared people might think of me as a delinquent.

Turns out, it was fun being with you. I realized a lot of things from you. I was inspired on how you see the world, how you judge people, how you find beauty in things people don't like.

It was fun going out without telling my parents. It was fun drinking that night. I had fun being absent in school. I was happy on how I make countless excuses, how we laugh at things and without being awkward at things anymore.

I enjoyed everything when I'm with you. I appreciate you so much although I am cringing while I'm writing this, but you need to hear that.

I Love You! 😉

Tangina ka!

I was laughing at myself right now. I wonder if she still has the letter, or she throw it away.

"Are you going to leave me, Emjae?"

I've told Emjae about it before. I have a tendency to cut people off when they are away or leave me, which does not apply to my mother working in a foreign country and my father working in a different location. But I don't think it will work out, and everything will never be the same now that you're apart. So, what's the point of staying?

I've witnessed myself being left when I was a kid. We used to stay before sa Laguna. My mother worked at some kind of factory, and I don't know my father's work that time. We used to be a complete and perfect family. My younger me would describe everything enthusiastically when I saw my mother coming home with my favorite pasalubong.

I've always loved Jollibee. Diyan kami laging pumupunta kapag lalabas kami. My mother would always order the same coke float, and it has been my favorite ever then. My mum always kissed me when she came home. Every morning, I was alone, so I played with the kids and waited for my parents all day.

I had a wonderful childhood, I can say. We would then wait for my father to return home a few hours later. On our way home, I'd get a piggyback ride. We lived in a little house and led a humble life. But I was unconcerned about the house or their financial difficulties. All I know was I was full of love, and I couldn't ask for more.