ICU {Crystal x Devale} || 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐃

Chapter Forty-Two

Devale

I looked through the glass of the NICU and stared at my only son. All those tubes and wires connected to his body made me regret all the nasty comments I made about the woman who carried him. The fat that I even mentioned wishing that she wasn't pregnant has given me enough guilt and shame. Now I have to deal with the actual grieving process and help Crystal through all of this.

"How is he doing?"

I turn my head and see Lance standing next to me. I haven't spoken to him in so long his voice sounded unfamiliar.

"What are you doing up here?" I ask him.

"Zena told me to come check on you." He said. "I'm sorry about the loss." He said shaking his head.

"Yeah me too... I said some shit and the universe took my words too seriously." I said running my hands over my face. "I don't think Crystal will ever forgive me."

"Maybe she won't." Lance said. "Devale look, you can't keep doing whatever you want and expecting her to forgive you." He said.

"What are you a therapist?" I ask chuckling.

"Nah man I'm just going through things right now." He said shrugging his shoulders.

"Like what?" I ask being nosy.

Lance looked at me and shook his head. "Nothing important. It's about you and Crystal right now-"

"Bro I'm so stressed that somebody else's drama sounds like heaven right now." I admit to him.

Lance started laughing a little bit and shook his head.

"Zena is interested in a relationship with me again." Lance said.

"What's wrong with that? You've been madly in love with her since you met her."

"Yeah and ever since then she's been picking morris over me. Look Devale, I just want a woman who's gonna love me and be my best friend." He said. "You have somebody who wants to be there and you're pushing her away. You're being Zena." Lance said pointing at me.

"If you say so." I mumbled to myself.

After talking to Lance for a few more minutes I decided to go and check on Crystal. 

Knock. Knock. Knock. 

"Come in." She said.

I opened the door and peeked my head in. 

"Hey beautiful." I said smiling softly. 

"What's up?" She asked. 

"I want to talk." I said walking in.

I closed the door behind me and went to sit in the seat next to her bed. 

"I am really sorry about everything that's going. I don't want to stress you out or anything, just talk." I said swallowing my saliva. 

I know that it won't be easy to Crystal right now. We just lost our babies for godsakes. But, I still need to talk to her and see where we go from here. 

"You know as fucked up as this all seems, God really spared us.." Crystal said with a slight laugh in her voice. 

I squinted as I shifted in my seat. 

"What are you talking about? Spared us?" I ask confused. 

"Devale come on! We were not ready to be parents nor raise a family together." Crystal said shaking her head. "So he took away two babies and let us keep one." She said crossing her arms. 

"Crystal I don't even-- I can't believe this is you I'm talking to." I said in disbelief. 

"You know the last time we got into a fight, I thought about getting an abortion, but I knew I was too far along." she said shaking her head. 

"You know I never wanted you feel like you had to keep the babies." 

"I kept them because I thought we had a chance at being a family, but now I realize that this isn't what I want." She said shaking her head. 

"If you don't wanna be with me that's fine, I understand, but we have to figure out something for this baby. We have a chance to be the best parents we can be." I try to explain to her. 

"Devale, I'm not keeping the baby." Crystal abruptly announced. 

"What the fuck do you mean you're not keeping the baby?" I ask raising up. 

"I don't want it." Crystal said. "I don't want it." She repeated shaking her head. 

"Crystal you just can't have a baby and decide you don't want it-" 

"Actually, I can and I am." She said giving me the side eye. "I want to give the baby up for adoption." She announced. 

"I don't think that you know what you're saying." I said shaking my head. "Why would you give our baby up for adoption when he has a perfectly good father. I'm not letting you do that." I said shaking my head. 

"I will give you full custodial rights and I'm moving back to Los Angeles or maybe Tennessee, I don't know yet." She said softly. "But I want this whole thing wiped out of my life and I don't even want that little boy to know I existed." 

"Crystal are serious-" 

"Devale please." She said putting her hand up. 

"I gave birth to him, gave you your first and only son. Just do me this one favor..." She begged. 

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. All I could do was replay her request in my head and silently disagree. There was so much I wanted to say but the words wouldn't come out. 

"I gotta go. I can't hear this." I said walking to the door. 

"Devale please listen to me." Crystal said making me stop. 

I took a deep breath and turned around. I couldn't even look her in the face. I felt disgusted. My stomach was turning. 

"I'll keep my son... You just stay the hell out of our lives." I said before leaving the room. 

I made sure to slam the door behind me.