Your Name Hurts / Criston Cole / Vaera Targaryen

20. Precious

"Hi Nyra!" Vaera declared. 

"Your children are keeping me up." Rhaenyra dead panned back. 

"Oh, yes they are night owls." Vaera agreed, her smile faltering for a moment. "Have you met them? Your niece and nephew? They are so precious... when they are not screaming for food-"

"Get them a wet nurse, you need not deal with that." Rhaenyra remarked. 

"I dont want them bonding with another person." Vaera countered. "I dont want mind. I was speaking with one of the women and they said breast feeding helps lose the baby weight faster." Vaera added. "So, I dont mind... I didnt know how much my stomach would stretch out-"

"Gross vaera." Rhaenyra countered. 

'-its... right." Vaera agreed. "We used to be able to talk to each other about everything." Vaera added softly, her gaze shifted to her twisting feet. Rhaenyra sighed. 

"It's not your fault, its never your fault that father loves you more. That you get everything you want just by being you." Rhaenyra declared. "But it doesnt mean I have to like it." 

"Is Laenor gone again?" Vaera questioned. 

"Yes." Rhaenyra agreed but that had nothing to do with it. "I wanted love but I was forced to marry." 

"Well maybe if you picked a nice man at the tour like you were supposed to you wouldnt be married to a pillow biter." Vaera hissed. Rhaenyra clenched her jaw annoyed. "I'm sorry that wasnt nice." Vaera added. "But you are right. It's not my fault. But your attitude doesnt help you. Doesnt get you on fathers good side-"

"It doesnt fucking matter Vaera." Rhaenyra countered. 

"What doesnt?" Vaera countered. 

"One day I will be in charge." 

"So?" Vaera countered confused. 

"And I won't have to deal with this shit." 

"What shit? What are you talking about? You are exiling yourself, you are pushing me away. I needed you and pushed me away Rhaenyra, you push everyone away!" Vaera demanded. 

"Of course you would say that." 

"What now?" Vaera shouted. 

"You were always trying to butt in, always trying to steal me away from Alicent-"

"Because you are my sister and I love you!" Vaera shouted. "I dont know when you stopped loving me but maybe... maybe I'm done trying to make you like me Nyra." Vaera marched out but an utter sadness filled her. 

She found herself walking with no destination. It was amazing the distance one could go when they had no clue where they were going only that they needed to get away. 

Vaera needed a moment alone but once she was alone she realized she didnt want to be alone. She wanted Criston. She got all turned around though in the lower town. She tried to find her way back before she sighed, filled with defeat. She found a guard, his helmet was down but she would have known his build anywhere if her mind wasnt clouded. 

"Princess." 

"I'm all turned around, can you show me- Harwin." She realized her voice getting smaller. 

"Vaera what are you doing out here?" Harwin questioned. 

"I was walking and I got lost, just point me in the right direction." Vaera sassed. 

"Come on," Harwin countered leading her back. 

"You talking to me again?" Vaera questioned. Harwin stared back at her silently. "No?" She shrugged. "I suppose I should be used to it. I-"

"Vaera, I loved you." Harwin corrected. "And you fell for Criston, you married him. Sorry if seeing the woman I loved move on with another guy hurts." Vaera's lips twisted as she took quicker steps to keep up with his fast pace.

"I'm sorry." 

"You fell in love, Vaera. I dont blame you for that, I just wish you fell for me instead. So its hard being around you, so happy and in love... your kids are cute by the way." Harwin admitted. "But of course they are, they are part you." Vaera smiled back at him. 

"I hope you find someone that makes you feel like I feel with Criston." Vaera remarked. "I... I really hope you can feel this love."

"Me too." Harwin agreed nodding to the front gates, she hadnt realized they were back. 

"Thank you, Harwin. you will always be my cookie knight." She added softly. 

"There's mama," Criston said holding Caspian in his arms. Vaera smiled running to them. "Hey, love." Criston cooed. "Where did you run off to?" 

"Just went for a walk." Vaera remarked taking caspian from him. "Hello baby boy, look at you! Look at you little stud muffin in the making." Caspian gurgled and giggled back at, flopping his little face into her chest. 

"Strong." Criston said his tone stoic. 

"Cole." Harwin answered in the same monotone expression as they assessed each other. 

"Your father has Caera, keeps saying she is a mini you." Criston remarked a hand trailing along Vaeras back as he lead her inside. "Little peanut he's calling her." Criston smiled touching Vaera's cheek, brushing her hair back behind her ear. 

"I love you." Vaera whispered kissing him. "I love you so much."

"I love you." Criston agreed holding onto her. "Gorgeous did something happen?" 

"No." Vaera corrected. "I just wanted you to know, how much I love you."