Trinity

Fault of Existence

The large blue hand on his shoulder was meant to be reassuring, but it just made his heart feel heavier. It only served as another burden he felt was his responsibility to bear. They did it. They'd broken free from the RDA, with a cost he hadn't been ready to pay. A cost he never considered.

The Tulkun hunt had been difficult to get through. Watching his closest friend lose her mind was worse than the death of the mother. He knows she hated what was going on, how powerless she felt as her mind rebelled against her. He fucking hated keeping that promise for so long. He should have told her; maybe then the memories wouldn't be so overpowering. Maybe she would have had some kind of method ready to deal with it.

When the tears finally slowed, he felt numb and welcomed it. Numb was better than the guilt that was eating away at him. Numbness was far preferable to knowing what he caused.

Spider took a deep breath and felt Prager stiffen up behind him as his mask hissed with the release. He quickly wiped away the shameful moisture that pooled around his chin and pushed his mask back in place. Thankfully, the Recombinant behind him didn't say anything. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to respond and keep up this numb feeling.

"Fuuucckkkk..." Lyle groaned while Ten'etirey carefully sealed the bullet holes.

"I know, but this will help prevent an infection. Slower means less potential air pockets. We learned this the hard way. Almost done." Her voice was steady—far steadier than Spider thought it would be. She was using Lyle's condition to block everything else out, and he was worried for her. She'd already been through so much shit in the past couple days.

Her eyes, which matched the blood currently covering her hands, betrayed a momentary flash of pain and sorrow when Lyle screamed out in pain. At the same time, her steady and methodical hands shook. Spider witnessed the mask slip into place. Her hands stopped trembling, and her eyes took on a determined look. She masked all the time, and even if he didn't understand why she kept it up around them, he knew this one was for her.

Every pained noise made her tail twitch. Her ears weren't capable of reacting with how tightly they were plastered to the side of her head. Lyle didn't stop vocalizing the pain, and Spider couldn't take his eyes off Lyle's hand gripping her shoulder. He was losing strength, and his fingers lost their lighter color as his grip loosened. Spider stopped listening for a while, silently watching as Lyle faded.

"Ly?" Ten'etirey questioned after his softly spoken words trailed off. "Lyle!"

The Recombinant leaned against her, completely limp, and Spider couldn't look at him anymore. Prager's hand on his shoulder gave him a reassuring squeeze as he faced forward. They were gonna lose Lyle, and it was his fault. He didn't want any more deaths on his conscience; he was barely handling the first one.

Spider had grown so attached to these blue jarhead assholes. At first, he just tolerated them. The bets he made with Ten never made it past the original two because anything they might have suggested didn't work anymore. They'd changed in such a short amount of time. How he viewed them changed, especially after learning about the Trinity.

Even if he was pissed about Eywa choosing someone like Quaritch for that gift, he trusted the Great Mother. He may not have been able to connect to her or this land, but he felt her in his own way. If Lyle died... he hoped she would accept him as truly one of her children. But he didn't want him to die.

Please, don't let him die.

If they'd just listened to him! Gone when he told them to go. Stopped trying to save him, her brother wouldn't be dead, and Lyle wouldn't be dying! Why did they go after him? There was never any attempt to find him or her after their capture. Why now? Why when it wasn't necessary? Why were they risking their lives for him?