Toni
"Baby, please." Janet whined.
"No."
"Please."
"No."
"Pleeeeeeease." I rolled my eyes and sighed.
"Fine."I moved onto my back and she climbed on me. She laid her head in my neck.
"Hmmm...that's better." I shook my head. She's almost at the end of her first trimester and she always gets really touchy and mushy during this time. "Love on me."
"Janet."
"Please, come on." She grabbed my hands and put them on her butt. "Rub it." Her words mumbled into my neck. I rubbed her butt and she moaned into my neck. I ain't going to lie, this was nice.
With everything that's been going on with the new baby, the kids, work. It's good to just cuddle up with my favorite person. "You sleep, baby?" She shook her head.
"No, I'm just laying here."
"You okay?"
"Hmmm..I'm having a sad day."
"Why you sad?"
"I worry about the kids and stuff. Every since our conversation, I've been worried about Josiah, Miyah and TJ."
"Why?"
"That's private. I promised I wouldn't share their information."
"I'm their mama."
"I know, but I promised and I need to keep their trust."
"Hmmm...I get that. So what else is it? I know there's something else."
"No, there isn't." She buried her face deeper into my neck.
"Yes, there is. You only get extremely mushy like this when something is bothering you personally."
"Hmmmm." She groaned into my neck. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Okay, but know if you don't talk about it, we can't fix it." She was quiet for a while before sitting up.
"Ummm....remember when we were still separated
and we had that fact in the kitchen at the old house?"
"Yeah." I squeezed her thighs thinking about it. She stopped me.
"You called me old. Did you really feel that way about me?"
"No, why?"
"Because, I just....mother said that when people say things out of anger, it's their true feelings coming out. Is that how you feel?"
"No. Why have you been thinking about that?"
"Because I don't....I don't want you to think I'm unattractive. I like how I feel around you and I don't want that to change just because of how old I'm getting."
I looked up at her as she looked at me. Honestly, age was irrelevant to me. I never think about our age until birthdays or until something legal comes up. But even if age was something I thought about, it wouldn't matter. Her body and face had gone through some changes but I loved every bit of it. Her whole body had matured and something about that really turned me on every time I saw her.
"Baby, I will never look at you that way."
"But.."
"You know what I see when I look at you?" She sighed.
"What?"
"I see you."
"What?"
"I see you and nothing else. Not your age or whatever it is you think will make you unattractive. When I look at you and talk to you, I see something that I wish you could see. A woman. A strong, beautiful and sexy woman who ha so much strength that it's ridiculous.
You've managed to go through some of the darkest forms of love and still never let that harden the soft and loving person you are." She smiled.
